Suicide Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Suicide

    Hot 1 year ago

    A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
    A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
    "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist," said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."

    Hitler's Suicide

    Hot 1 year ago

    One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
    "Why did hitler commit suicide?"
    She said: "I don't know."
    he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
    Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
    And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
    The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
    And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."

    Why did Hitler commit suicide?
    - He got his gas bill

    Q. Two feminists jump off a cliff. Who wins?
    A. Society.

    HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BILL CLINTON'S FRIEND??
    The following is a list of dead people connected to Bill Clinton. Please
    note the following breakdown of causes, and then think about the statistical possibility of their being random occurrences (especially the plane crashes):
    1. James McDougal - Clinton's convicted Whitewater partner died of an
    apparent heart attack, while in solitary confinement. He was a key
    witness in Ken Starr's investigation.
    2. Mary Mahoney - A former White House intern was murdered July 1997 at a
    Starbucks Coffee Shop in Georgetown. The murder happened just after she
    was to go public with her story of sexual harassment in the White House.
    3. Vince Foster - Former White House counselor, and colleague of Hillary
    Clinton at Little Rock's Rose law firm. Died of a gunshot wound to the
    head, ruled a suicide.
    4. Ron Brown - Secretary of Commerce and former Democratic National
    Committee Chairman. Reported to have died more...

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