"An alien walks into a bar..." joke

Hot 3 years ago

An alien walks into a bar and sits next to a muscular guy. Then the alien pushes his finger into the guys shoulder and says: bloop, bloop, bloop!

The guy looks at him and says," If you do that again I will cut your head off with this here knife!"

The alien just did it again and said bloop, bloop, bloop! In anger the guy cuts off the guys head. Immediately another one grows back. Then the alien pushes his finger into the gys shoulder and says: bloop, bloop, bloop!

The guy says if you do that again I will cut off your dick! The alien did it again so in his anger the guy pulls down the aliens pants and is shocked to see that there is no dick! In his astonishment he asks," If you don't have a dick then how do you have sex?"

The alien pushes his finger into the guys shoulder and says," bloop, bloop, bloop!"

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.

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A priest had a small flock of chickens, but the prize rooster went missing, and he didn't know where to find it. So at the sermon next Sunday he queried:
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All the men stood up.
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'Twas The Night Before Christmas,
He Lived All Alone,
In A One Bedroom House Made Of
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I Had Come Down The Chimney
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I Looked All About,
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