Responded Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Pessimist!

    Hot 1 year ago

    An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive. For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single more...

    Watch dogs

    Hot 7 years ago

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend and noticed she had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
    The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
    Her friend said, "Why did you give them names like that?"
    The blonde responded, "What else would you name watch dogs?"

    Tip Top Shape

    Hot 4 years ago

    A 60-year-old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35-year-old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
    The 60-year-old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"
    The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
    The 60-year-old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
    The doctor couldn't believe it. So, he asked, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
    The 60-year-old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
    The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
    The 60-year-old said, "He goes skiing at more...

    The Pessimist!

    Hot 6 years ago

    An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.
    For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.
    He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.
    As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.
    The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did more...

    Parlez vous francais?

    Hot 6 years ago

    Kantibhai Lalloobhai, emigrating to Europe by ship happened to share the table with a Frenchman. As they met for the repast, the Frenchman bowed and wished him bon appetit. Kantibhai, believing the other man was introducing himself, responded,' Kantibhai Lalloobhai.'

    So it went on at every meal till a friend told Kantibhai what bon appetit meant. The next time he encountered the Frenchman, Kantibhai bowed and said bon appetit. The Frenchman responded,' Kantibhai Lalloobhai.'

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