Patrol Jokes / Recent Jokes

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you`ve got to go back across the border right now."
The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I`m going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I`ll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence".
The Mexican man of course agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"

From Seattle, Washington comes the story of a group of cops who couldn't tell the good guys from the bad.

It all began when an 18 year old bozo stole a police car and a cop on bicycle patrol reported seeing the stolen vehicle. A patrol car arrived on the scene and was waiting at a stop light when a second patrol car arrived.

The officer in the second car thought the driver of the first car was our bozo thief and proceeded to ram the vehicle with his car. The officer in the first car thought he was being attacked by the stolen car driver and opened fire. The officer in the second car returned fire and more that twenty shots were fired before the officers realized their mistake. Fortunately, no one was injured.

In the meantime, our bozo thief thought better of things and drove the stolen patrol car to a police station and gave himself up.

- If you have cleared the entire house (or apartment), encountered no resistance and have not cussed out once, you hit the wrong house.
- The newly elected Sheriff is not the one you voted for, and he knows it!
- Court will be scheduled in the middle of your days off.
- Hot calls will only come over the air 10 minutes before the end of your shift.
- You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
- Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
- The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
- The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
- Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
- If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for direction.
- To err is human, more...

One night, while on foot patrol, a Police officer approached a local bar. Through the door stumbled a drunk who promptly fell on his backside. He lay on the ground with his eyes closed. Upon opening his eyes, he sees the Officer looking down at him.
He says,"Osifer, did you see me fall!"
The Officer says,"Yeah, I did."
The drunk asks, "Do you know who I am?"
"Nope." Comes the reply.
"Well," says the drunk, "Then how do you know it was me that fell?"

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says,"Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green,... I Pink it up, and sez Yellow?"

There is a sinhala letter' gna' as pronounce in' Kompagna Veediya'. No match in English and try to pronounce' gna' as you pronounce the sinhalese letter in the eary school days.
Banada was a very innocent policeman and because of his character he was always assigned to do the road patrol duties in the night shift arround the Pettah vegetable market. He always feel sleepy as there is no activity in the market in his duty hours.
One day early morning he saw a bicycle approching him with few boxes in the back and he thought of stopping this man at least to keep his mood.
Navathapan. Umba koheda yanne me ude pandara?
Sir. Mama elovolu tikak geniyanava.
Boru kiyanna epa Banda ralahamita. Mata umba visvasa neha.
Kiyapan umbe nama.
Mage nama' Pagnasena'
Banda took his patrol duty book and trying to write the name. Tried many times but not that easy for him.
Umbata vena namak nedda.
Ne ralahami.
Hari Adata palayan. heta ehema enna more...

A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now."
The Mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!"
The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence."
The Mexican, of course, agrees.
The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are Green, Pink and Yellow. .. Now use all them in 1 sentence."
The Mexican man thinks really hard for about 2 minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. .. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"