Parks Jokes / Recent Jokes

A middle school science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

Little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and you'll get fired!"She then sat back down.

Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
"Anybody?" Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye." Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy."

Then she turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have 3 things to say: 1st, you have a dirty mind. 2nd, you didn't read your homework. And 3rd, one day you are going to be VERY, VERY disappointed."

What the country is talking about this week...
"Big Brother 2" One contestant got booted for holding a knife to another's throat. But he hopes to appear on "COPS."
Tom & Penelope: There's already a problem. She wants to keep her maiden name if they marry.
"The Sopranos" Executive producer David Chase has agreed to a fifth season for a reported $20 million. The more characters he kills off, the more he gets to keep.
"The West Wing" Several of the supporting characters want more money. There goes your tax cut.
Harrison Ford: He helped rescue a lost Boy Scout with his helicopter. After a car chase, a horse race, a knife fight, a snake pit, a chasm jump...
Nicole Kidman: Reports say she and Russell Crowe were vacationing on the same remote, primitive South Seas island. Australia.
Beijing Olympics: They're adding several new sports for 2008: the 200-meter Tank Dodge and the Dissident Javelin Catch.
Online movie more...

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then more...

Montreal Gazette's Top 50 Jokes from the 1999 Just For Laughs festival.
1. (On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
2. I used to smoke pot until I came to the conclusion... what was that conclusion, anyway?
3. (On the difference between men and women:) On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
4. Women like posh hotels; there's more for them to steal. Take them to a posh hotel and they all turn into the Artful Dodger.
5. And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on
Satan."
6. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse."
7. The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you're got millions of pals out there. Type in, more...

Montreal Gazette's Top 50 Jokes from the 1999 Just For Laughs festival.
1. (On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.2. I used to smoke pot until I came to the conclusion... what was that conclusion, anyway? 3. (On the difference between men and women:) On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.4. Women like posh hotels; there's more for them to steal. Take them to a posh hotel and they all turn into the Artful Dodger.5. And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything onSatan."6. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse."7. The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you're got millions of pals out there. Type in, "Find people that have sex with more...

Why are there so few amusement parks in Japan?
Because they aren't tall enough to ride them!

The National Resources Defense Council reports that 12 national parks are in danger of drought, wildfire and diminished wildlife due to global warming-in lieu of reducing greenhouse gases, the Government will simply rename the parks Death Valleys 1-12.
A recent shot of "Glacier" National Park: