Ohio Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kansas: Toto isn't here anymore. Wisconsin: Wear cheese or die. Oklahoma: Rather Sooner than Later. Hawaii: Try our lei-away program. Mississippi: Elvis was born here, but heck, even he left. California: Hey, with this many of us, we can make it legal! New Jersey: Waste not... send it here instead. Nevada: Two to one you'll come again! Washington: If we'd meant DC, we'd have said DC, stupid. Massachusetts: Taxus Por Un Fortunat Bums. Tennessee: To stay here, you'd have to be a Volunteer! Alabama: At least you're not in Mississippi. Idaho: And don't even joke about the &%$#)%^ potatoes! West Virginia: Well, it sounded better than Eastern Ohio... Florida: Give me your sick, your old, your rich retirees... South Carolina: Settled by prisoners, what do you expect. North Carolina: Furniture out the wazoo. Maryland: The best place to get crabs. Nebraska: Not much to look at, but we sure have a lot of it. Alaska: Colder than a polar bear's patoot. South Dakota: To rent this space call more...

A man and his wife were traveling in Texas. A highway patrolman pulled the man over for speeding. The cop came up to the car and asked to see the man's license. The wife who was hard of hearing said, 'what'd he say?' He said he wanted to see my license. The cop said you're from Ohio. The wife said what'd he say. The husband said I see you're from Ohio. The cop said the worst pussy he ever got was from a girl from Ohio. The wife said what'd he say. The husband said the cop thinks he knows you.

In Oblong, Illinois, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. No man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath in Alexandria, Minnesota. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth. Warn your hubby that after lovemaking in Ames, Iowa, he isn't allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with you -- or holding you in his arms. Bozeman, Montana, has a law that bans all sexual activity between members of the opposite sex in the front yard of a home after sundown -- if they're nude.(Apparently, if you wear socks, you're safe from the law!)In hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, every room is required to have twin beds. And the beds must always be a minimum of two feet apart when a couple rents a room for only one night. And it's illegal to make love on the floor between the beds! The owner of every hotel in Hastings, Nebraska, is required to provide more...

Q: How do you get the entire state of Kentucky into the Ohio River?
A:... throw in a quarter.
Q: How do you get the entire state of Kentucky *out* of the Ohio River?
A:... throw in a bar of soap.

The Cleveland Browns gave a $21 million contract to 22nd pick Brady Quinn. Wow – that's a million dollars for every player another team thought was better.

A man and his wife were traveling in Texas. A highway patrolman pulled the man over for speeding. The cop came up to the car and asked to see the man's license. The wife who was hard of hearing said,' what'd he say?' He said he wanted to see my license. The cop said you're from Ohio. The wife said what'd he say. The husband said I see you're from Ohio. The cop said the worst pussy he ever got was from a girl from Ohio. The wife said what'd he say. The husband said the cop thinks he knows you.

Kenny Lofton has been named to the Cleveland Indians Hall of Fame. Or, as we like to call it, the loneliest place on Earth.