Against Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.The Hindu says,' I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn.' So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says,' There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow.'So, the Rabbi says,' I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn.' A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.So, the lawyer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. It's the pig and the cow...

    Tazer Test

    Hot 2 years ago

    Not too long ago, I saw something at the gun and pawn shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 10th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife.
    What I came across was a 100, 000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term
    adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.
    Needless to say, this was way too cool. Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the thing and pushed the button. Nothing!
    I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get a blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to my wife what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
    Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be more...

    The Telemarketer

    Hot 6 years ago

    A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a telemarketer are in a car. They run out of gas and are forced to stop at a farmer's house. The farmer says that there are only two extra beds, so one person will have to sleep in the barn.

    The Hindu says, "I'm humble, I will sleep in the barn." So, he goes out to the barn. In a few minutes, the farmer hears a knock on the door. It's the Hindu and he says, "There is a cow in the barn. It's against my beliefs to sleep with a cow."

    So, the Rabbi says, "I'm humble, I'll sleep in the barn." A few minutes later, the farmer hears another knock on the door and it's the Rabbi. He says that it is against his beliefs to sleep where there is a pig and there is a pig in the barn.

    So, the telemarketer is forced to sleep in the barn. A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door.

    It's the pig and the cow...

    Sanath - Swings At Nearly Anything That's Hurled
    Kambli - Killed All Mediocre Bowling, Left Immediately
    Kapil - Killed Aspiring Pacemen In Land
    Sohail - Swore Once, Heralding An Infamous Loss
    Prasad - Promised Revenge Against Sohail And Delivered
    More - Mouthing Obscene Rubbish Everywhere
    Gavaskar - Grafting Away Valiantly, Always Successfully Killed Any Result, Goes Around Venting Angry Spiel Kicking About Rudely
    Azhar - At Zenith Had Ambrose Reeling
    Azharuddin - Almost Zaheer-like His Artistry, Rivetting Umpteen... Devoted Doting Indian Nationals
    Vishy - Vodka Is Sweet, He Yells
    Tendulkar - Tiny, Exciting, Neverending Dynamo Undyingly Labours, Keeps A Record
    Amarnath - After Many A Reincarnation, Now Acknowledged Top Hand
    Prasanna - Prince Radiant Among Spinners, Astutely Nailed Nimble Attackers
    Bedi - Beautifully Executed Deliveries Indefinitely
    Chandra - Cleverly Hides Another Nagging Delivery Really more...

    Wind your language

    Hot 3 years ago

    Since Dehradun is not far from Punjab, many Punjabis sought admission to the D. A. V college, Dehradun (formerly in U. P. but now in Uttaranchal). However, since preference was given to boys and girls from U. P., outsiders were asked to state their length of residence in U. P., and attach their certificates. A boy from a Punjab village filled in his form and against the column' length of residence' wrote' 366 km.'
    Another applicant filling details of his name, address, etc., wrote against the column,' born', the simple reply:' Yes.'

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