Mama Jokes / Recent Jokes
Yo Mama is so fat she uses redwood trees to pick her teeth!
The first Jewish woman President is elected. She calls her Mother, "Mama, I've won the elections, you've got to come to the swearing-in ceremony."
"I don't know, what would I wear?"
"Don't worry, I'll send you a dressmaker"
"But I only eat kosher food"
"Mama, I am going to be the president, I can get you kosher food"
"But how will I get there?"
"I'll send a limo, just come mama"
"Ok, Ok, if it makes you happy."
The great day comes and Mama is seated between the Supreme Court Justices and the Future Cabinet members, she nudges the gentleman on her right. "You see that girl, the one with her hand on the Bible? Her brother's a doctor!"
Morris calls his son in NY and says," Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm merely telling you because you're my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm divorcing Mama." The son is shocked and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don't want to get into it. My mind is made up.""But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What happened?""It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know. I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell
her. It will spare me the pain.""But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?""No I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told her yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days, and I've finally come to a decision. I have an appointment with more...
One day a little boy approched his teacher and asked " miss mama hujja karala ennatha" and this clever teacher handled the situation very carefully and told the boy that its not a good language. and turned to other small kids in her classroom and said" Puthala Duwala kiyanna honda wachanayak, me Putha kiyaapu wachane wenuwata"
For that there were several responses from several little kids and the last one kid said " Mama sinduwak kiyannatha" Teacher answered "anna eka hondai putha. Puthala Duwala meeta passe magen ahanna sinduwak kiyala ennatha kiyala" and the matter was solved.
One day one little kid in that class who used to sleep on the bed with the parents on the sides wanted to urinate and woke up his father and wispered "mama sinduwak kiyannatha"
For that father got so annoyed " pissutha lamayo than keeyada welawa me welawe sindu kiyanne naha"
After ten miniutes the kids got unbearable and woke up more...
One of my favorite jokes, a telling commentary on Jewish mothers'
capacity to lay on guilt, involves the mother who gave her son two
neckties on Chanuka.
"The boy hurried into his bedroom, ripped off the tie he was
wearing, put on one of the ties his mother had brought him, and hurried
back. "Look, Mama! Isn't it gorgeous?"
"Mama asked, 'What's the matter? You don't like the other one?'"
from Hooray For Yiddish by Leo Rosten