Justice Jokes / Recent Jokes
"Scooter Libby, who got indicted, has set up a legal defense fund to help pay his legal bills. It's pretty good, for a $1,000 donation you get a hand-written thank you note and the name of a CIA agent." --Jay Leno
"Libby was indicted on two counts of obstruction of justice, three counts of perjury, and one count of not being as smart as Karl Rove." --Jon Stewart
"What did Scooter Libby say when he bumped into President Bush at the White House?. .. Pardon me." --Jay Leno
"Outside the courthouse, Libby's lawyer said all he wants to do is clear his client's good name. I don't know, Scooter? Is that a good name?" --Jay Leno
"Vice President Dick Cheney's former assistant, Scooter Libby, pleaded not guilty to the Yeah, the weird thing is since his name is Scooter, he's being tried in juvenile court." --Conan O'Brien
"Dick Cheney's right-hand man Scooter Libby has been indicted. By more...
A lawyer had a jury trial in a very difficult business case. The client who had attended the trial was out of town when the jury came back with its decision, which was for the lawyer and his client.
The lawyer immediately sent a telegram to his client, reading, "Justice has triumphed!"
The client wired back, "Appeal at once!"
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling.
"Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 of them.
What is the worst thing about our justice system? You're leaving your fate in the hands of 12 people whoweren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
Microsoft Addresses Justice Department AccusationsREDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 - In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum."It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, "It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone".
After years of assisting more senior attorneys at trial, a young lawyer was finally allowed to try a case on her own. Determined not to lose, she prepared furiously.
The trial went on for eight exhausting days. Finally, the case went to the jury, which quickly returned with a verdict in favor of her client.
Ecstatic, the attorney phoned the firm's managing partner, and the moment he was on the line announced, "It's me! The jury just came back, and justice has prevailed!"
The managing partner gasped, stammering, "Appeal at once."
[Royters: Dateline Washington]
Joe Motzeratz Reporting
Justice Department Siege Section's Helicopters & Tanks Rolling Towards Redmond
With the clock ticking ever closer to the deadline imposed by the Justice Department and the leaders of the Redmond WA based cult promising a fight to the end, Attorney General Janet Reno has informed the Justice Department's Siege Section to start the helicopters and tanks rolling towards Microsoft's campus in Redmond Washington; as well as cutting off the avenues of escape for Cult Leader Gates to his fortified redoubt on the lake, known as "C:/"..
Attorney General Reno stated that with such a formidable foe as Microsoft, and their response to her edict, that it would have to be a Take No Prisoners operation as the threat to the community at large is even more egregious than the mentally troubled widow in Illinois, and a much greater threat than the situation that first propelled her to prominence.
Apparently, Attorney more...