Enforcement Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The American Civil Liberties Union announced today that it was bringing a lawsuit against Santa Claus for violations of the civil rights of children. An ACLU spokesman, Mr. E. Scrooge stated that, "Mr. Claus has been violating children's right to privacy and has been putting that information in a vast database. The information is then used by the law enforcement arm of Mr. Claus' organization to determine which children are considered naughty or nice. It is obvious Mr. Claus has violated the children's rights, as we have alleged in our suit, because of the memos and other company information we have obtained. In addition, we believe Mr. Claus has been engaging in mind control experiments designed to prevent the free expression of beliefs."
    Among the documents presented to the courts today was a memo in which reads, in part:
    You better watch out.
    You better not cry.
    You better not pout.
    I'm telling you why.
    Santa Claus is coming to town.
    He sees more...

    A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket.
    So, he asks the man his name.
    "Fred," he replies. Fred what?" the officer asks.
    "Just Fred," the man responds.
    When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.
    "Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"
    The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor.
    I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred more...

    City code enforcement officers use your property as a proving ground for new recruits.
    You think Tang is in the fruit group.
    You can hit a bullseye from up to 50 yards away, but still have trouble with your ABC's.

    Insensitive Term-Preferred Term: ETHNICITY
    PC people do not recognize the term, "race," as valid
    Black- African-Canadian, (NOTE: DOES NOT INCLUDE: LIBYANS, EGYPTIANS, WHITE South AFRICANS. DOES INCLUDE: PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY ARE FROM OR WHERE THEY LIVE.)
    Oriental- Asian-Canadian (Note: Not Considered "REAL" Minorities since they tend to do well)
    Indian- Native-Canadian (NOTE: The following terms are no PC: Atlanta Braves, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Chiefs, Washington Redskins, (Avoid these cities!)
    Chicano -Hispanic (NOTE: THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT PC: Cheech and Chong, Chico and the Man episodes, Cisco Kid, Rosarita Salsa, Speedy Gonzales, AVOID! AVOID!)
    White Trash-PC Unaware, Rustically Inclined
    WASP (white male)-insensitive Cultural Oppressor (ICO)
    GENDER-(PC people don't like the word "sex" as it has confusing connotations)
    Woman- Womyn; more...

    Insensitive Term-Preferred Term: ETHNICITYPC people do not recognize the term, "race," as validBlack- African-Canadian, (NOTE: DOES NOT INCLUDE: LIBYANS, EGYPTIANS, WHITE South AFRICANS. DOES INCLUDE: PEOPLE WITH DARK SKIN REGARDLESS OF WHERE THEY ARE FROM OR WHERE THEY LIVE.)Oriental- Asian-Canadian (Note: Not Considered "REAL" Minorities since they tend to do well)Indian- Native-Canadian (NOTE: The following terms are no PC: Atlanta Braves, Cleveland Indians, Kansas City Chiefs, Washington Redskins, (Avoid these cities!)Chicano -Hispanic (NOTE: THE FOLLOWING ARE NOT PC: Cheech and Chong, Chico and the Man episodes, Cisco Kid, Rosarita Salsa, Speedy Gonzales, AVOID! AVOID!)White Trash-PC Unaware, Rustically InclinedWASP (white male)-insensitive Cultural Oppressor (ICO)GENDER-(PC people don't like the word "sex" as it has confusing connotations) Woman- Womyn; Vaginal-CanadianGirl-Pre-WomynHousewife-Domestic EngineerFireman-FirefighterStewardess-Flight more...

  • Recent Activity