Jonah Jokes / Recent Jokes

A lady on an airliner was reading her bible. The man sitting next to her gave a little chuckle and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
"Of course I do. It is the Bible." the lady replies!
"Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" he asked.
"Oh, Jonah... Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." she replied.
"Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" he asked.
"Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." said the lady.
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.
"Then YOU can ask him." replied the lady!

A lady on an airliner was reading her bible. The man sitting next to her gave a little chuckle and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?""Of course I do. It is the Bible." the lady replies!"Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?" he asked."Oh, Jonah... Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible." she replied."Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?" he asked."Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him." said the lady."What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically."Then YOU can ask him." replied the lady!

there was these two men john and jonah john says "yo jonah, dude i had the funniest dream last night dog" and jonah says "what was it about?"
"well i had a dream that i went to heaven.and while i was up there i was walking all over heaven with a messed up ugly woman.and she was messed up.well i went to god and said lord why do i have to walk in heaven with a ugly woman and god said the reason why u have to walk around with a ugly woman is because u acted so bad on earth.and then i saw you jonah walking around heaven with jessica simpson.then i said lord why did jonah get to walk with jessica.cuz son see jessica acted so bad on earth that she has to walk around with an ugly guy too."

Excerpts from Readers's Digest.
My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. more...