Jane Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnnie sees his Daddy's car passing the play ground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a "Passionate Embrace".
Johnnie finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedtly:
"MOMMYMOMMY, IWAS ATTHEPLAYGROUNDANDDADDYAND.."
Mommy tells him to slow down, she wants to hear the story, so Johnny tells her; "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane layed down on the seat, then Daddy.."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnnie, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks more...

Jane called her Grandpa and when she asked how his day was going, he began to cry.
"What's wrong, Grandpa?" she asked.
"When I turned the stove on this morning, the knob fell off," Grandpa explained. "After that, I went to get a spoon out of the kitchen drawer, and the handle fell off. Then, when I went to answer the door, the doorknob came off."
"Everything's going to be alright," Jane said, reassuringly. "These things happen from time to time."
Instead of calming down, Grandpa began to cry even harder.
"Why are you still crying?" Jane asked.
Between sobs, Grandpa exclaimed, "I'm afraid to go to the bathroom!"

"Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend?" asked Janes best friend."Why shouldnt I?" said Jane."Well, maybe he is having an affair?""No way" said Jane "he never returns with any fish..."

Tarzan was tired when he came home."What have you been doing", asked Jane."Chasing a herd of elephants on vines""Really? ", said Jane. "I thought elephants stayed on the ground! "

What would cheeta be if Tarzan and Jane were Jewish?
A fur coat
What would cheeta be if Tarzan and Jane were Polish?
A gifted child
What would cheeta be if Tarzan and Jane were Italian?
The other woman

Jane's father decided to take all the family out to a restaurant for a meal. As he'd spent quite a lot of money for the meal he said to the waiter, "Could I have a bag to take the leftovers home for the dog?" "Gosh!" exclaimed Jane, "Are we getting a dog?"

"Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they
> have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions,
> during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp -- only to discover
> a cucumber in his hand.
>
> "Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 5 years!?!"
>
> "Honey, let me explain!"
>
> "Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a --"
>
> "Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, "maybe you'd care to explain our 3
> kids!!!"