Elephant Jokes

A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus, and by chance their seats were next to the elephant pen. While his father was gone buying popcorn, the boy piped up, "Mom, what's that long thing on the elephant?"
"That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied. "No, not that at the other end."
"Oh, that's the elephant's tail."
"No, Mom. Down underneath."
His mother blushed and said, "Oh, that's nothing."
Pretty soon the father returned, and the mother went off to get a soda.
While she was gone the boy repeated his questions.
"That's the elephant's trunk, son," he replied.
"Dad, I know what an elephant's trunk is. The thing at the other end, down underneath the elephant's tail."
The father took a good look, "Oh. That's the elephant's penis." "Dad, how come when I asked Mom, she said it was nothing?"
The man took a deep breath and more...

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!

Why shouldn't you take an elephant to the zoo?
Because he'd rather go to the movies!
What's blue and has big ears?
An elephant at the North Pole!
What's grey and lights up?
An electric elephant!
What's big and grey and protects you from the rain?
An umbrellaphant!
What do you do with a green elephant?
Wait till it ripens!
What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!
A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, "You know you really need help"
"Yes I do", said the elephant, "get this kid off my foot!"
What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus?
The police made him bring it back!
Why are elephants wiser than chickens?
Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant?!
What do you call an elephant that can't do sums?
Dumbo!

1. Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?

A: Take away it's credit card.

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Hello, Patricia Whack. I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation."
Patti looks at this frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000 and the teller asks him his name, and the frog says it's Kermit Jagger, he's the adopted pet of Mick Jagger and that it's ok, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything that he can use as collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and leaves the room. She finds the manager and says, "There is a frog called Kermit Jagger out more...