Impediment Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly? ”
“Yeah, sure thing, ” replied his friend, “fire away. ”
“Well, ” said the first guy, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive? ”
“It’s probably because of her speech impediment, ” replied the second guy.
“What do you mean her speech impediment? ”
inquired the first fellow.
“My wife doesn’t have a speech impediment! ”
“Well, ” replied his friend, “you must be the only guy who hasn’t noticed that she can’t say ‘NO’!! ”

Over drinks one afternoon a buddy of mine and I were discussing former “loves”. I told him that I once broke-up with a girl long ago because she had a seemingly incurable speech impediment. George said, “Jimmy, I’m shocked. I never know you to be one to be prejudiced against handicaps. What was the girl’s problem? ” Taking a sip, I paused and reflected. “She couldn’t say ‘Yes’. ”

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment.One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store.He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucketplease?"The assistant asked"Pardon sir?"."Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man. "Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied.The old man said "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for hisbucket and went into the antique shop. In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -"Can I have a cock please?" The cashier looked very puzzled and asked "Pardon?". The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?" The cashier replied "Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir." So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant andasked "Can I have a bum please?" The assistant said "Sorry sir what did you say?". So he more...

Santa and Banta were enjoying a few drinks down at the local bar, when Santa said to Banta, "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?"
"Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away."
"Well," said Santa, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?"
"It`s probably because of her speech impediment," replied Banta.
"What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired Santa, "My wife doesn`t have a speech impediment!"
"Well," replied Banta, "you must be the only guy who hasn`t noticed that she can`t say `NO`!"

There was a little old man who had a bit of a speech impediment. One day he went shopping, his first stop was at a hardware store. He went up to the shop assistant and asked "Could I have a fucketplease?" The assistant asked"Pardon sir?". " Can I have a fucket please?" Replied the man. "Oh you mean a bucket!" The shop assistant replied. The old man said "Yes, that's what I said". So the man paid for hisbucket and went into the antique shop. In the antique shop he went to the cashier and asked -"Can I have a cock please?" The cashier looked very puzzled and asked "Pardon?". The man again asked "Can I have a cock please?" The cashier replied "Oh you mean a clock! - yes certainly sir." So he paid for the clock and walked out of the shop. The next stop was to the bakers. He went to the assistant andasked "Can I have a bum please?" The assistant said "Sorry sir what did you say?". more...