Holly Jokes / Recent Jokes

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town,
No noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down.
No children in flannels were tucked into bed,
They all wore shorty pajamas instead.
To find wreaths of holly, was not very hard,
For holly trees grew in every back yard.
In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were
Adorning the bushes and coconut palms.
The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee,
Hoping to find water skis under the tree.
They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
In a Mercedes-Benz, instead of a sleigh.
And soon he arrived and started to work,
He hadn't a second to linger or shirk.
He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road,
In an S-L 300, delivering his loads.
The tropical moon gave the city a glow,
And lighted the way for old Santa below.
As he jumped from the auto he gave a wee chuckle,
He was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league buckle,
There weren't more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Holly!
Holly who?
Holl's something there to remind me! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Holly!
Holly who?
Hollylujah!

^'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town,
No noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down.
No children in flannels were tucked into bed,
They all wore shorty pajamas instead.
To find wreaths of holly, was not very hard,
For holly trees grew in every back yard.
In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were
Adorning the bushes and coconut palms.
The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee,
Hoping to find water skis under the tree.
They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
In a Mercedes-Benz, instead of a sleigh.
And soon he arrived and started to work,
He hadn't a second to linger or shirk.
He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road,
In an S-L 300, delivering his loads.
The tropical moon gave the city a glow,
And lighted the way for old Santa below.
As he jumped from the auto he gave a wee chuckle,
He was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league buckle,
There weren't more...

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the town,
no noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down,
no children in flannels were tucked into bed,
they all wore shorty pajamas instead.

To find wreaths of holly, t'was not very hard,
for holly trees grew in every back yard.
In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were
adorning the bushes and coconut palms.

The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee,
hoping to find water skis under the tree.
They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
in a Mercedes-Benz, instead of a sleigh.

And soon he arrived and started to work,
he hadn't a second to linger or shirk.
He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road,
in a S-L 300, delivering his loads.

The tropical moon gave the city a glow,
and lighted the way for old Santa below.
As he jumped from the auto he gave a wee chuckle,
he was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league more...

As you may already know, THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon
(the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice,
has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene
pool.
And now, for this year's illustrious winner(s):.. drum roll... John
Pernicky and friend Sal Hawkins, of the great state of Washington,
decided to attend a local Metallica concert at the Amphitheater at Gorge,
Washington. Having no tickets (but 18 beers among them) they sat in the
parking lot, and after finishing the beer, decided that it would be easy
enough to hop over the nine-foot high fence and sneak into the show.
The two friends pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan
was for John-100 pounds heavier than Sal-to hop over, and then assist his
friend over the fence. Unfortunately for John, there was a 30 foot drop on
the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found more...