Holly Jokes / Recent Jokes

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the town,
No noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down.
No children in flannels were tucked into bed,
They all wore shorty pajamas instead.
To find wreaths of holly, was not very hard,
For holly trees grew in every back yard.
In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were
Adorning the bushes and coconut palms.
The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee,
Hoping to find water skis under the tree.
They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
In a Mercedes-Benz, instead of a sleigh.
And soon he arrived and started to work,
He hadn't a second to linger or shirk.
He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road,
In an S-L 300, delivering his loads.
The tropical moon gave the city a glow,
And lighted the way for old Santa below.
As he jumped from the auto he gave a wee chuckle,
He was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league buckle,
There weren't any chimneys, but that more...

A sweet grandmother telephoned Mount Sinai Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said "I'll be glad to help, Dear. What's the name and room number?"

The grandmother in her weak tremulous voice said, "Holly Finkel in room 302."

The Operator replied, "Let me check. Oh, good news. Her records say that Holly is doing very well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back as normal and her physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged on Tuesday."

The Grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful! I was so worried! God bless you for the good news."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Is Holly your daughter?"

The Grandmother said, "No, I'm Holly Finkel in 302. Dr. Cohen doesn't tell me anything!"

Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah)
Hal Jalikakick (How'd ya like a kick)
Hammond Eggs (Ham and Eggs)
Hank E. Panky (Hanky Panky)
Harmon Ikka (Harmonica)
Harris Mint (Harassment)
Harrison Fire (Hair is on Fire)
Harry Balzac (Hairy Ball Sack)
Harry Weiner (Hairy Wiener)
Hayden Seek (Hide & Seek)
Haywood Jablowme (Hey, Would You Blow Me?)
Haywood Jashootmee (Hey Would You Shoot Me?)
Hein Noon (High Noon)
Helen Back (Hell and Back)
Helena Hanbaskett (Hell In A Hand Basket)
Henador Titzhoff (He Gnawed Her Tits Off)
Herbie Hind (Her Behind)
Herb E. Side (Herbiside)
Herbie Voor (Herbivore)
Holden Mcgroin (Holding My Groin)
Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn)
Holly Wood (Hollywood)
Homan Provement (Home Improvent)
Homer Sexual (Homosexual)
Howard I. No (How Would I Know?)
Howe D. Pardner (Howdy Partner)
Hu Flung Pu (Who Flung Poo?)
Huang Annsaw (Wrong Answer)
Hugh Beeotch more...

Four nuns died and went to heaven as they always wanted. At the pearly gates
they were asked to confess about their sins. The first
nun went to the priest and said, when I was 7 years old
I toughted my brother's genital. Priest said its all
right Please wash your hands in that holly water.
The second nun come to priest and said when I was 8 years
I have watched a couple having sex, priest goes it's ok
go and wash your eyes in that holey water. Having seen
this the fourth nun asked third nun "Can I go before you?"
Third nun asked "Why do you want to go before me?
Fourth nun goes, I want to wash my mouth before you
wash your Ass in that holly water!!!!!!!

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the town,
no noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down,
no children in flannels were tucked into bed,
they all wore shorty pajamas instead.
To find wreaths of holly, t'was not very hard,
for holly trees grew in every back yard.
In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were
adorning the bushes and coconut palms.
The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee,
hoping to find water skis under the tree.
They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
in a Mercedes-Benz, instead of a sleigh.
And soon he arrived and started to work,
he hadn't a second to linger or shirk.
He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road,
in a S-L 300, delivering his loads.
The tropical moon gave the city a glow,
and lighted the way for old Santa below.
As he jumped from the auto he gave a wee chuckle,
he was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league buckle,
There weren't more...

Holly: My duck is very speical!
MOM: Why?
Holly: Because it can lay an egg!
MOM: What is so seical about laying a egg?
Holly: Well can you lay an egg?

Hugh Hefner has split with 28-year-old actress-model Holly Madison.. Hefner is so old he once dated Dolly Madison.