Branch Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Branch Office

    Hot 2 years ago

    A whore met a plastic surgeon and asked him to make another hole
    "What you need anoda hole for?" Asked the surgeon.
    "Business is good" Replied the whore "So I want to open another branch"!

    Car break trouble

    Hot 7 years ago

    Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Branch Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?"I know," said the Branch Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way.""No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, more...

    God created the donkey & said to him: " You will work unceasingly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have no intelligence & you will live 50 years. You will be a donkey. " The donkey answered: " I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is too much. Give me only 20 years. God granted his wish. God created the dog and said to him: "You will be a dog. " You will guard the house of man. You will be his best friend. You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 25 years. You will be a dog. " The dog answered: " Sir, to live 25 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted his wish. God created the Monkey and said to him: " You will be a monkey. " You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. You will be a monkey. " The monkey answered: " Sir, to live 20 years is too much, you give me only 10 years. God granted more...

    Management Lessons

    Hot 7 years ago

    Lesson One
    A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow &asked him, "Can I also sit like you &do nothing all day Long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
    Management Lesson?..........To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
    Lesson Two
    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly more...

    1.dumb guy: I have'nt slept all nite on the train.
    Friend: Why?
    Dumb guy: Got upper berth.
    Friend: Why did'nt you exchange?
    Dumb guy: oye, there was nobody to exchange with in the lower berth.
    2. A Teacher lecturing on population -
    In India, every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
    A dumb guy stands up - We must find & stop her!
    3. Dumb guy - Why are all these people running?
    Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
    Dumb guy - If only the winner will get the cup, why are the
    others running?
    4. Teacher: "I killed a person." Convert this sentence into future tense.
    Dumn guy: The future tense is, "You will go to jail."
    5. Dumb guy gets ready, wears tie, coat, goes out,
    climbs tree, sits on the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
    Dumb guy: "I've been promoted as branch manager."
    6. Dumb guy was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be more...

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