Gujarati Jokes / Recent Jokes

A tourist guide in Gujarat used to advertise "The Dev Anand guide, the best guide knowing every inch of Gujarat."
An American touring party hired him to see Gujarat.
The guide was hopelessly wandering, changing the directions, and driving the touring party around for a long tie with a tremendous anxiety on his forehead.

The tourist party sensed he was lost. "This is ridiculous," one exasperated tourist said to the Dev Anand guide, "you told us that you were the best tourist guide in the state of Gujarat who knew every inch of land. Wasn't that true?"

"No that is true," Replied Dev Anand, "but you see we are somewhere in Marwar now!"

Kanjibhai mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in the apartment over his. "Many a night they stamp on the floor and shout till midnight."
When the landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, "Not
really, as I usually stay up and practice my Harmonium till about that time most every night anyway."

Mister Nene, his wife and his son were returning by train to home in Maharastra after taking a trip of South India. Mister Nene was occupying the lower berth, his wife had the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train.
When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way, the son requested his father to buy him a cup of ice cream to which he readily agreed and got off the train. When they returned, they found that a Gujju bhai who couldn't understand Hindi or Marathi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Mister Nene called the TT and asked him to help. TT was a South Indian who stated that he could not understand Hindi, Marathi or Gujarati so it would be better if Mister Nene explained the whole situation to him in English.

So Mr. Nene explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

The passengers were leaving the Air India plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied Kanjibhai paused to congratulate the flight attendant.

"Stewardess," Kanjibhai said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time. It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your Air India home office and let them know how pleased I am."

"Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered,

"but I think you should know--this is yesterday's flight."

Kanjibhai and Ramjibhai were getting ready for the company awards dinner for the best salesman. Kanjibhai was in the running to win an award that evening and wanted to make sure he looked his best when he claimed his prize. He felt his luck was with him and was sure to win.

He stood in front of the mirror to fix his tie but the mirror was crooked, so he reached over to straighten it out and it came crashing down on the floor. "Oh no," said Kanjibhai. "Now I am going to have seven years bad luck."

"Nonsense," said Ramjibhai. My uncle once broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years bad luck."

"Really?" said Kanjibhai, feeling much better knowing that.

"Yeah really," said Ramjibhai. "He died that day."

A Gujarati bhai spent the night in his secretary's apartment. He woke up at three in the morning. "My God!" he shouted, "My wife is going to kill me!" Unsure of how he would explain it, he ran to the nearest pay phone and called his wife. "Muna ni ba ", he began, "Don't pay the ransom. I escaped!"

Mister Nene, his wife and his son were returning by train to home in Maharastra after taking a trip of South India. Mister Nene was occupying the lower berth, his wife had the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train.

When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way, the son requested his father to buy him a cup of ice cream to which he readily agreed and got off the train.

When they returned, they found that a Gujju bhai who couldn't understand Hindi or Marathi had occupied his son's berth.

Outraged, Mister Nene called the TT and asked him to help.

TT was a South Indian who stated that he could not understand Hindi, Marathi or Gujarati so it would be better if Mister Nene explained the whole situation to him in English.

So Mr. Nene explained, "That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."