Gujarati Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Marwadi guy and a Gujarati guy went out to a very expensive restaurant for dinner one night.
Finally, the waiter came over and asked,
"Who should I give the check to?"
The Marwadi guy said,
"Give it to me. I'll take care of everything."
"Fine," said the waiter.
The next day the headlines read:' Gujrarati Ventriloquist Strangled to Death'

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I`ll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived." An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that`s not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I`m sorry, Hamish, that`s not right either. Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That`s absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I`ll give you the $20." As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business

One day santa singh goes to a bank for cash withdrawal.
The cashier is a gujarati lady with a typical gujarati accent.
When santa's token no. Is announced, he goes to the cash counter.

The lady cashier asks him in hindi, "mr. Singh, so so ke loge?"

Santa replies, "khade khade bhi chalega!"

Kanjibhai the jeweller called the police station to report a robbery. "You'll never believe what happened, Officer. A truck backed up to my store, the doors opened and an elephant came out. He broke my plate glass window, stuck his trunk in, sucked up all the jewellery and climbed back into the truck.
The doors closed and the truck pulled away."

The Pandu hawaldar said, "Could you tell me, for identification purposes, whether it was an Indian elephant or an African elephant?"

"What's the difference?" asked Kanjibhai Jaweri.

"Well," said the Hawaldar, "an African elephant has great big ears and an Indian elephant has little ears."

"Come to think of it, I couldn't see his ears," said Kanjibhai "He had a stocking over his head."

A fresh graduate was offered the job of a History Teacher in a Gujarati school. So he brought a glass of water with him in the class and started teaching in Gujarati. He showed the glass to the whole class, and asked, "Can you tell me what is this?"
Students found fun in this approach and in one loud voice responded, "Glass of Water."

Then he showed his middle finger, and asked, "What is this?'

The class in a unified voice boomed, "Your finger."

Then he dipped his finger in the water and asked, "What is this?'

The class loudly said, "Your finger in the water?"

The teacher pulled the finger out of water, kept it pointed towards earth and asked, "What is this?"

The class said, "Your finger out of water."

Then he pointed at a water drop accumulated at the figure tip about to fall, and asked again, "What is this?

The whole more...

A Gujju woman took her baby to a doctor, who determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops.

In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated "right" as an R with a circle around it.
Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil.

The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist, had typed the following instructions on the label: "Put two drops in R ear every four hours."

Rupaben: This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste.
Kanjibhai: Are you describing the wine or your mother?