Gujarati Jokes

A Patel walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks andneeds to borrow $5, 000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5, 000 and the interest, which comes to $15. 41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked ut very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5, 000?"
The Patel replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for more...

There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Raju Patel, who was involved in a car accident. At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him.
"I'm very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."
"Car crash! My Porsche! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.

"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.

"I lost my arm? My Rolex! My Rolex!"

"Sir, please calm down. That is the least of your worries. You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you."

He asked for his family to be called in. As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name. "Shilpa, are you here?"

"I am here husband, and I will never leave more...

Kanjibhai was preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers. Kanjibhai was not very good at English so he asked the printer to help him.

After the printer had presented Kanjibhai with a draft, Kanjibhai quickly pointed out that the " RSVP " was missing.
The printer was surprised by Kanjibhai's knowledge and asked him if Kanjibhai knew what it meant.

Kanjibhai started to think and after much thought he replied:
" "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"

Q: - Why did the Gujju think the film Gandhi was about a woman?
A: - Because Be(h)n Kingsley was in it.
Q: - Why won't the gujju jeweller sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya?
A: - The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for' Kesh'
Q: - What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Ramesh no dikro States ma gayon"?
A: - Ramesh's son failed in statistics...
Q) Why did Bill Clinton have the gujju beaten?
A) The gujju told Clinton "You are an IMPOTENT man"
Q) What will a Gujju tell a tomato, coming last in a tomato race?
A) Tomato KETCHUP.
Q) Why did the gujju go to Rome?
A) He wanted to listen to POPE music.
Q) Why did the gujju go to London?
A) To see BIG BEHN.
Q) Why was the gujju stacking up 1 cent coins on the day before exams?
A) He wanted to get "cent-per-cent".
Q) What did the Gujju have in the morning?
A) LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast.
Q) more...

Kantibhai Lalloobhai, emigrating to Europe by ship happened to share the table with a Frenchman. As they met for the repast, the Frenchman bowed and wished him bon appetit. Kantibhai, believing the other man was introducing himself, responded,' Kantibhai Lalloobhai.'

So it went on at every meal till a friend told Kantibhai what bon appetit meant. The next time he encountered the Frenchman, Kantibhai bowed and said bon appetit. The Frenchman responded,' Kantibhai Lalloobhai.'