Graphics Jokes / Recent Jokes

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of
Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you
have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding
the commands.

- The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
- It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a
floating body. It is shipped with a' NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
- Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled' Garbitch'
- My Computer is called' My Freakin Computer,'
- Dialup Networking is called' Good Fellas',
- Control Panel is known as the' da Tote Board,'
- Hard Drive is referred to as' da trunk', and....
- Floppies are them' little Freakin plastic disc tings'.

OTHER FEATURES:

* Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
* OK= do it I tell ya
* Cancel = hell no
* Reset = dis is more...

This customer comes into the computer store. "I'm looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging."
"Well," replied the clerk, "Have you tried Windows XP?"

Topic 1
How to Fill up the Ice Cube Trays
(Step by Step with Slide Presentation)
Topic 2
The Toilet Paper Roll - Does It Grow on the Holder?
(Round Table Discussion)
Topic 3
Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Hamper and The Floor
(Pictures and Explanatory Graphics)
Topic 4
The Dirty Dishes and Silverware - Can they Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink and/or the Dishwasher?
(Examples on Video)
Topic 5
Loss of Identity: Losing the Remote to your Significant Other (Helpline Support and Support Groups)
Topic 6
Learning How to Find Things, Starting with Looking in the Right Place instead of Turning the House Upside Down While Screaming (Open Forum)
Topic 7
Health Watch: Bringing her Flowers is Not Harmful to your Health
(Graphics and Audio Tape)
Topic 8
Real Men Ask for Directions When Lost
(Real Life Testimonials)
Topic 9
Is It Genetically Impossible to Sit more...

WINDERS 98
MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Georgia edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note:
Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive
Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.
Other features:
Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = more...

A special Arkansas edition of Windows XP has been developed.
It is distinguished by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, and has a a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
Other differentiating features:
The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
Hard Drive is referred to as "4- Wheel Drive"
Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up
CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ARKANSAS EDITION:
OK... ats aw-right
Cancel... stopdat
Reset... try er agin
Yes... yep
No... noop
Find... hunt fer it
Go to... over yonder
Back... back yonder
Help... hep me out here
Stop... kwitit
Start... crank er up
Settings... settins
Programs... stuff more...