Winders Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A special Arkansas edition of Windows XP has been developed.
    It is distinguished by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, and has a a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
    Other differentiating features:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
    My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
    Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
    Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
    Hard Drive is referred to as "4- Wheel Drive"
    Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
    Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up
    CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ARKANSAS EDITION:
    OK... ats aw-right
    Cancel... stopdat
    Reset... try er agin
    Yes... yep
    No... noop
    Find... hunt fer it
    Go to... over yonder
    Back... back yonder
    Help... hep me out here
    Stop... kwitit
    Start... crank er up
    Settings... settins
    Programs... stuff more...

    1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
    2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
    3. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag
    4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
    5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
    6. The Recycle Bin in Winders'95 would be an outhouse
    7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling Freebird!
    8. Instead of Start Me Up the Winders'95 theme song would be Achy-Braky Heart
    9. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
    10. Microsoft's programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
    11. Winders'95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
    12. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
    13. Instead of latte carts we'd have grits carts
    14. New Shutdown wav: Y'all come back now, Yah hear?
    15. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
    16. more...

    1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
    2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
    3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
    4. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
    5. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
    6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart
    7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
    8. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
    9. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
    10. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
    11. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
    12. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
    13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

    It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
    Also note:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
    My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
    Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
    Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
    Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
    Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
    Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
    Additional features:
    OK = ats aww-right
    cancel = hail no
    reset = awa shoot
    yes = more...

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition
    of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If
    you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help
    understanding the commands.
    The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
    screen. It reads Winders 98 with a background picture of the General
    Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy
    Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My
    Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is
    called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard,
    Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them
    little ole plastic disc thangs.
    Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag
    and duct tape. Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital
    letters or punctuation marks.
    We regret any inconvenience it may have more...

  • Recent Activity