Winders Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP with a background picture of the General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive, and floppies are them little ole plactic discn thangs.
    Other features: Instead of a error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
    OK = ats aww-right
    cancel = hail no
    reset = awa shoot
    yes = shore
    no = Naaaa
    find = hunt-fer it
    go to = over yonder
    back = back yonder
    help = hep me out here
    stop = ternit off
    start = crank it more...

    1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
    2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
    3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
    4. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
    5. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
    6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart
    7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
    8. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
    9. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
    10. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
    11. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
    12. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
    13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

    How things would be different if Microsoft were headquartered in Georgia:
    1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
    2. Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
    3. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
    4. Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
    5. The "Recycle Bin" in Winders' 95 would be an outhouse
    6. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders' 95 theme song would be Achey-Breaky Heart
    7. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
    8. Winders 95 logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
    9. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now, Yah hear?!"
    10. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
    11. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
    12. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator
    13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates.

    A special Arkansas edition of Windows XP has been developed.
    It is distinguished by the unique opening screen. It reads: WINDERS XP, and has a a Dukes of Hazzard screen saver.
    Other differentiating features:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
    My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
    Dial up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
    Control Panel is known as the "The Dashboard"
    Hard Drive is referred to as "4- Wheel Drive"
    Floppies are "them little ol plastic disc thangs"
    Instead of an error message a "garbage bag and roll of duct tape" pops up
    CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN ARKANSAS EDITION:
    OK... ats aw-right
    Cancel... stopdat
    Reset... try er agin
    Yes... yep
    No... noop
    Find... hunt fer it
    Go to... over yonder
    Back... back yonder
    Help... hep me out here
    Stop... kwitit
    Start... crank er up
    Settings... settins
    Programs... stuff more...

    It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
    Also note:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
    My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
    Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
    Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
    Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
    Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
    Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
    Additional features:
    OK = ats aww-right
    cancel = hail no
    reset = awa shoot
    yes = more...

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