Accounting Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of
    Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you
    have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding
    the commands.

    - The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
    - It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a
    floating body. It is shipped with a' NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
    - Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled' Garbitch'
    - My Computer is called' My Freakin Computer,'
    - Dialup Networking is called' Good Fellas',
    - Control Panel is known as the' da Tote Board,'
    - Hard Drive is referred to as' da trunk', and....
    - Floppies are them' little Freakin plastic disc tings'.

    OTHER FEATURES:

    * Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
    * OK= do it I tell ya
    * Cancel = hell no
    * Reset = dis is more...

    (Forwarded by an American friend of Italian descent).
    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Brooklyn version of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside New York. If you have one of the Brooklyn editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
    The Brooklyn edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
    It reads WINDAS 98 with a background picture of the East River with a floating body. It is shipped with a 'NYPD BLUE' screensaver.
    Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled 'Garbitch'
    My Computer is called 'My Freakin Computer,'
    Dialup Networking is called 'Good Fellas',
    Control Panel is known as the 'da Tote Board,'
    Hard Drive is referred to as 'da trunk', and...
    Floppies are them 'little Freakin plastic disc tings'.
    Instead of an error message you get a winda covered with steel bars and Grafitti.
    OTHER FEATURES:
    WINDOWS 98WINDAS 98
    OKdo it I tell ya
    Cancelhell more...

    It has been brought to our attention that a few copies of the Arkansas edition of Microsoft Windows XP may have accidentally been shipped outside of Arkansas. If you have received one of the Arkansas editions, you may need some help in understanding the commands. This particular edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS XP and displays a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate Flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
    Also note:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
    My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
    Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
    Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
    Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs
    Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
    Instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
    Additional features:
    OK = ats aww-right
    cancel = hail no
    reset = awa shoot
    yes = more...

    It has come to our attention recently that many of you
    have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts
    of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However,
    we need to know exactly what you are doing during your
    unproductive time.
    Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended
    job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
    The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of
    precision what you are doing during your unproductive time.
    Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let
    us know about any difficulties you encounter.
    Thank you,
    Accounting
    Attached: Extended Job-Code List
    ...
    Code Description
    ***
    5316 - Useless Meeting
    5317 - Obstructing Communications at Meeting
    5318 - Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
    5319 - Waiting for Break
    5320 - Waiting for Lunch
    5321 - Waiting for End of Day
    5322 - Vicious Verbal more...

    It has come to our attention that a few copies of the West Virginia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside West Virginia. If you have one of the West Virginia editions you may need some help understanding the commands. The West Virginia edtion may be recognized by looking at the opening screen. It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of General Lee superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver. Also note:
    The Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
    My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
    Dialup Networking is called Good Ol' Boys
    Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
    Hard Drive is referred to as Four Wheel Drive
    Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.
    And instead of an error message, you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
    Other features:
    OK = ats aww-right
    cancel = hail no
    reset = awa shoot
    yes D shore
    no = naaaaa
    find = more...

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