Gimme Jokes / Recent Jokes

A brunette walks into a bar and says, "Gimme an M L." The bartender says, "What's an M L?" The brunette says, "A Miller Light." Another brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a B L" The bartender says, "What's a B L?" She says, "Bud Light." A dumb blonde walks in and says, "Gimme a 15." The bartender says, "What's a fifteen?" The blonde says, "7&7, duh!"

A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight."

The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort.
The man swills down the drink and says, "Gimme another one."

The bartender pours the drink, but says, "Now, before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and tell me why you're so upset?"
So, the man begins his tale. "Well, I was sitting in the bar next door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought, "Wow, this has never happened before." You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, the blonde leans over and asks if I'd like to come back to her hotel to have dinner and talk for a while. I couldn't believe this was happening, and I hadn't had a good meal in quite more...

A bald guy walks into a bar, turns to the noticably short bartender, and says "Hey midget, gimme a beer!"
The bartender gives the man a beer, but tells the man not to refer to him as a midget.
A few drinks later, the guy turns to the bartender and again says, "hey midget... gimme another beer!"
The bartender gets upset and warns the man about calling him a midget, but gives him his beer.
After the thrid time this happens, the bartender says, "Hey! I told you to stop calling me a midget! How would you like it if I called you 'baldy' if our positions were reversed?"
The guy thinks about it and admits that he wouldn't mind. The bartender disagrees, and ultimately they agree to switch positions to let the man see how it feels.
The bartender moves to the front of the bar, and the guy moves to the back. The bartender says, "Hey baldy, gimme a beer!"
The guy leans over the bar and says, "Sorry, but we don't serve more...

There was this boy who was literally retarted. He asked his sister everything. He heard his mother and father arguing. His mother called his father a bastard and his father called his mother a bitch. He asked his sister what bitches and bastards meant. And she said ladies and gentlemen. He overheard them having make up sex. His mother said gimme your dick. His father said gimme your tits. He asked his sister what dicks and tits are. She said hat and coats. His father was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. He cut his finger and said fuck. He asked his sister what fuck meant. She said cutting the turkey. His mother was in the bathroom putting make up on her face. She messed up and said shit. HE asked his sister what was shit. She said putting make up on your face. The doorbell rang. He answered it and said." Hello Bitches, and bastards can I have your tits and dicks. My father is in the kitchen fucking the turkey and his mother is putting shit all over her face."

A small balding man storms into a local bar and demands, "Gimme a double of the strongest whiskey you got. I'm so mad, I can't even see straight." The bartender, noticing that the little man is a bit the worse for wear, pours him a double of Southern Comfort. The man swills down the drink and says, "Gimme another one." The bartender pours the drink, but says, "Now, before I give you this, why don't you let off a little steam and tell me why you're so upset?"So, the man begins his tale. "Well, I was sitting in the bar next door, when this gorgeous blonde slinks in and actually sits beside me at the bar. I thought, "Wow, this has never happened before." You know, it was kind of a fantasy come true. Well, a couple of minutes later, the blonde leans over and asks if I'd like to come back to her hotel to have dinner and talk for a while. I couldn't believe this was happening, and I hadn't had a good meal in quite a while. I managed to nod my more...

A brunette walks into a bar and says, ''Gimme an M L.'' The bartender says, " What's an M L?'' She says, '' A Miller Light.''
Another Brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a B L.'' The bartender says, ''What's a B L?" She says, ''Bud Light.''
A dumb blonde walks in and says, ''Gimme a 15.'' The bar tender says,'' What's a fifteen?'' She says,'' 7&7, duh!"

A brunette walks into a bar and says, "Gimme an ML." The bartender says, " What's an ML?" She says, " A Miller Light."
Another Brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a BL." The bartender says, "What's a BL?" She says, "Bud Light."
A dumb blonde walks in and says, "Gimme a 15." The bar tender says," What's a fifteen?" She says," 7&7, duh!"