Fuck Jokes

I've been fucking this really sexy bird who is a twin.
My mate asked me how I told her apart from the other twin?
I said it was easy. Her brother has a beard.

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

What starts with the letter F and ends in UCK?
FiretrUCK

The horny midget found that the best way to make time with women was to be direct about it. So he went up to the tallest blondest woman at the party and said,"Hey, honey, whaddaya say to a little fuck?"
She looked down at him and promptly replied, "Hello, you little fuck!"

there was a little kid named jr and he hurd is sisther say bicth and he asked is sisther what does bicth mean and his sisther said it means a old lady and then he hurd is dad say shit and he asked hid dad what does shit mean and he said food and then he hurdd hid mom say fuck and he asked hid mom wat does fuck mean and she said when your changing your close so his grandma came to hid house and he esaid come in bicth there is shit on thee table and my parrnts are fucking up stars