"Twins" joke

I've been fucking this really sexy bird who is a twin.
My mate asked me how I told her apart from the other twin?
I said it was easy. Her brother has a beard.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

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anonymo:boobs haha
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Gi_H0e:Boii u can tell yo hairline to stop hiding cuz I don't bite....but dem clippers do
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Lueroi:LOL but old :L
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Lueroi:lol but old
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Anon:Good one
Funny Joke? 105 vote(s). 67% are positive. 5 comment(s).