"A little boy heard his mom and..." joke

Hot 1 year ago

A little boy heard his mom and dad fightin and the mom called the dad a bastard and he called her a bitch so the boy asks whats a bitch and whats a bastard? The parents said well, a bitch is a girl and a bastard is a boy. So the little boy then hears the neighbor say to his wife, im gonna stick my dick in your pussy and the boy again asks his parents what a pussy and a dick are. the parents say, well, a dick is a hat and a pussy is a coat. So the boy goes on and then his dad is shaving and he cuts himself and says Shit. So the boy asks, whats shit dad? and the father says its a type of shaving cream. Then he is downstairs and the mother is cuttin the turkey and she cuts herself and says Fuck. the boy asks mom what does fuck mean? and she says its a way of cuttin turkey. Then all the family and friends come over for thanksgiving and the boy answers the door and says," hey all you bitches and bastards! Please hand me your pussies and dicks and wait in the living room. my parents might be awhile because dads upstairs washing shit off his face and moms in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"

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To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
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You're so ugly your mom has to tie a roast beef sandwich around your neck to get the dog to play with you.

A guy was standing in front of the gorilla cage at his local zoo when along came a gust of wind which swept some dust into his eye. The guy rubbed his eyelid which sent the gorilla crazy. He bent open the bars, and beat the guy senseless.
When the guy finally came to his more...

Q: Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
A: Because it scares the hell out of the dog.

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