Fucked Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two dogs in a vets

    Hot 1 year ago

    a great dane and an alsation are with their masters in the waiting room at the local vets.
    the great dane decides to strike up a conversation and ask the alsation what he's in for.
    well said the alsation, its a long story but it goes something like this-i was napping on the landing when the masters wife came out of the bathroom, stark naked and dripping wet, she bent over to pick a towel up and i could'nt resist, i was up there like a shot, fucking her like she'd never been fucked before, so the masters bought me in to be put down, what about you? wow! said the great dane- thats a coincidence i was also napping on the landing when the masters wife came out of the bathroom, she was wearing stockings and suspenders, but no-knickers, she bent over to pick her blouse up, and i could'nt resist, i was in like a shot, fucking her like she'd never been fucked before!.
    oh, said the alsation, so your here to be put down as well then? heck no, said the great dane, i'm here to have my more...

    humpty dumpty fucked a hore humpty dumpty fell off a wall all the kings horses and all the kings men bent the bitch over and fucked her agian

    Dirty Ryhmes

    Hot 1 year ago

    (Row Row Row Your Boat)
    Roll, roll, roll your joint
    twist it at the end,
    take a puff,
    that's enough and pass it to a friend.
    Little Jack Horner sat in the corner playing with himself,
    he stuck his thumb up his ass
    and found his uncles underpants
    and said "What a good boy am I"
    Mary Mary quite contrary
    shaved her pussy cause it was so damn hairy.
    Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow
    I live in a flat you fucking twat so how the fuck should I know
    Mary Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow
    With wizz and e's and ganja trees and coke as white as snow
    Mary had a little lamb her cow had B.S.E
    Mary was a kiky slut and gave them H.I.V
    Abraham Lincoln was a good old man.
    He hopped out the window with his Dick in hand.
    He said, "Excuse me ladies,
    just doing my duty
    so why not pull down your pants
    and give me some booty."
    Hickory Dickory more...

    A BLONDE AND A BRUNET WAS IN A BAR AND THE BLONDE SAYS I WAS SO DRUNK THAT I WALKED INTO A TREE. THE BRUNET SAID THAT WAS NOTHING I WAS SO DRUNK I WALKED INTO A MOVEING CAR. THE BLONDE SAID THAT'S NOTHING I WAS SO DRUNK I WALKED INTO THE WRONG HOUSE AND FUCKED AN 60 YEAR OLD MAN.THE BRUNET SAID I WAS SO DRUNK I FUCKED MY 2 YEAR OLD SON. THE BLONDE SAID THAT'S NOTHING I WAS SO DRUNK I BLEW CHUNKS. IN WHO'S BATHROOM? ASKED THE BRUNET. THE BLONDE SAID NO! YOU'VE GOT TO UNDER STAND CHUNKS IS MY DOG!

    A guy asked me for a cigarette yesterday with this approach. Do you have a spare cigarette?. to which i replied before counting 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19, but sorry none are spares, so the guy starts shouting at me for my comment. I told him to get fucked. and he's going on and on. before I said to him Listen buddy what part of get fucked dont you understand?

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