Filipino Jokes / Recent Jokes

If Filipinos invent a luxury car, what would it be? It would be shape like a mango for aerodynamic.
Its tires would be made of spartan tsinelas.
The seat would be made of ratan.
The engine would be a carabao.
The body frame would be made of kawayan.
The cover would be made of coconut leaves.
The carpet would be banig.
It is held together by abaca.
There would be a star logo on the hood & the rear.
The mirror would be graphite rock.
The windshield would be air.
The radio would be themselves.

There once was a Filipino man who worked at the grocery store and noticed that someone left their lights on their vehicle. He decided to be a good Samaritan and announced the following over the intercom system: "excush mae, der eez a ca wit de lights on, license phlate numbearrr, LBQ123, El as in elepant, vee as in victory, and q as in cucumbearrr.

For the finals of the Australian Cow Milking Championship, an Australian, a German and a Filipino were given 15 minutes each to milk as much as they could from cows assigned to them. After 15 minutes. .. "Australian contestant, how much did you get?" "A gallon," the contestant shouted. Palakpakan. "German contestant, how much?" "A gallon and a half, sir!" Mas masigabong palakpakan. "Filipino contestant, how much did you milk?" "One teaspoon, sir!" Nakabibinging katahimikan."Beg your pardon sir, but. .. they gave me a bull!"

One day, a farmers horse had died and he needed another horse to pull his plow. As the farmer was walking down the road, he saw a horse eating grass in the pasture and questioned the owner. "How much money would you like for that horse?" The Filipino man replied, "He not por sale. Him no look too good." The farmer looked at the horse and said, "He looks fine to me! How much for the horse?" The Filipino man again said, "Excuse me sir, but the horse, he no look too good." The farmer got a little frustrated and gave the man 3 hundred dollars and said, "The horse looks fine to me.,,,, Ill take it." The Filipino man said, "Tank you sir! But the horse. He no look good." The farmer just got the horse and walked away shaking his head. He went home and hooked the horse up to the plow. The horse went everywhere except straight. After a careful examination, the farmer discovered that the horse was blind! He was angry and went back to more...

There were three men on an airplane. It was an African man, Mexican man, and a Filipino man. The African man began making conversation by tel

What's brown and white and flops on the beach? A Filipino and a seagull fighting over a fish! What is a Filipino's idea of devastation? It's where you catch de bus. How does a Filipino use "devastation" in a sentence? Hoy auntie, don't you have to go buy your ticket at "DEVASTATION"? (get it the bus station???) What's the difference between select and choose? ? Select is when you pick out something... choose is what Filipinos wear on their feet! !! What do you call a Filipino walking a dog? A vegetarian. What do you get when you cross a Filipino & Hawaiian? Somebody who loves to clean yard but no more land. There are three Santas on the Roof. Which one is the Filipino one? The one in the bunny suit.

My dad had an accountant who every time the company had to package plans to send to a client would ask the messenger to "Fack it up well, okay?" While shopping at SM Megamall, a saleslady was helping me choose an appropriate gift to buy and I happened to be looking at a nice nightdress. The saleslady said, "Fair yan." Puzzled, I asked, "Fair?" And she replied, "Oo, they come in fairs!" A Filipino was arrested in San Francisco for illegal parking. He was incensed. He said to the police, "Why you give me a facking ticket? I only facked here por payb minutes!" In response to the question, "How often do you smoke?", the Filipino answered, "Two facks a day."