FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need.
BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The more...
A famer got up for breakfast, his wife was bent over at the kitchen table. The farmer said to his wife, "Honey, your but is bigger than a four row corn picker."
The wife does not say anything. The farmer gets up after finishing his breakfast and heads out for the morning chores. Upon coming in for lunch his wife is bent over picking up something on the floor. The farmer says to his wife, "Ya know honey, I thought about it all morning and your butt is so big it is bigger than a 6 row corn picker."
Once again, the farmers wife says nothing. The farmer leaves the lunch table to do his afternoon chores. At dinner he comes in and his wife is bent over at the kitchen sink doing dishes. The farmer says to his wife, "Honey I thought about it all afternoon. Your butt is so big it is bigger than an 8 row corn picker."
Again, the wife says nothing. They have a nice dinner and she picks up the dishes and cleans the kitchen up. The farmer is in the more...
A farmer and his friend are talking, at some point in the conversation, the farmers three-legged pig walks by. The friend asks about the lame pig, and why the farmer hasn't killed it off."Well," the farmer says, "that pig has helped us through a lot.. last month our house caught on fire, and he dragged me and my family to safety. Then a few days later, my boy was drowning in the lake and the pig helped him out."The farmers friend was still confused and asked, "So how did the pig lose his leg?""Well.." the farmer answered, "a pig like that, you can't eat all at once."
Three men where traveling backcountry roads when their car broke down. They walked to a farmhouse and asked the old man for help. He told them they could stay the night and he would drive them to the town the next day. He warned them that his daughter meant the world to him, and he would kill them if he found out they screwed around with her. So all three mean agreed that they would not mess with his daughter. Later on that night one of the three friends was wondering around the house and he came upon the room of the farmers daughter. She was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen! She looked at him with an innocent smile and motioned him in. He thought to himself that old man will never know, and he went into the room. The second of the three friends was wondering around the house and he came upon the room of farmers daughter. She smiled at him with that innocent grin and motioned him in. He thought to himself that old man will never know, and he went into the room. The third more...
*Breaking News *
West Virginia farmers just found a new use for their sheep...