Democracy Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

    Greetings prospective White House interns!
    This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job. We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet!
    Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:
    * Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of the hottest city in the world!
    * Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
    * See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
    * Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
    Sounds like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former intern:
    "I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president. Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just more...

    DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWSFEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.DICTATORSHIP: You have two more...

    Only the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) can assure economic prosperity. Only the CCP can maintain societal stability. No one wants freedom. All Chinese demand national reunification meaning that the mainland must take over Taiwan. The one child policy works. China is capitalist. The Tiananmen Massacre was necessary in order to prevent chaos. Only the CCP produces people capable of leading the country. Deng Xiaoping intended to implement democracy. 1 country 2 systems works. Mao unified China. Falun Gong wants to destroy China. The CCP opposes corruption. CCP is like the sun. The CCP cares about Chinese. The People's Liberation Army (PLA) has the ability to invade and take over Taiwan. The PLA won the 1979 war with Vietnam. 1 million dead PLA' volunteers' in Korea constituted a victory. The PLA knows how to maintain the modern Russian aircraft and ships that it purchased Zhu Rongji wants to clean up corruption. Mainland corruption is not creeping into Hong Kong. Falun Gong is a more...

    REDMOND, Wash. - Oct. 23, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of
    Justice, the Microsoft Corp. announced today that it will be acquiring the federal government
    of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.
    "It's actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates,
    "It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone".
    Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the oval office of the White House with
    U. S. President Bill Clinton, and assured members of the press that changes will be "minimal".
    The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft. An initial public
    offering is planned for July of next year, and the federal government is expected to be
    profitable by "Q4 1999 at latest", according to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer.
    In a related announcement, Bill Clinton stated that he had more...

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