Communism Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Cows In Government

    Hot 4 years ago

    FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
    PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk they think you need.
    BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need.
    FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
    PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.
    RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.
    CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The more...

    Soviet Sausage Joke #1

    Hot 1 month ago

    Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon. Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic." I'm sorry," says Socialism, "I was standing in line for sausage." Capitalism says - "What's a line?" And Communism says - "What's a sausage?"

    Two Cow Defined (Classic)

    Hot 8 months ago

    DEFINING SOCIETIES VIA THE OWNERSHIP OF 2 COWSFEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.DICTATORSHIP: You have two more...

    Communism is like prohibition - it's a good idea, but it won't work.

    Capitalism, Socialism, and Communism have a meeting for tea at noon.
    Capitalism and Communism arrive on time, but Socialism is nowhere to be found. Finally he arrives, out of breath and apologetic.
    "I'm sorry," says Socialism, "I was standing in line for sausage."
    Capitalism says - "What's a line?"
    And Communism says - "What's a sausage?"

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