A duck walks into a feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''
The clerk tells him, ''No, we don't have a market for it it so we don't carry it.''
The duck says, ''Okay'' and leaves. The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''
Again the clerk says no and the duck leaves.
Next day, the duck walks in, and asks, ''Got any duck feed?''
The clerk says, ''I've told you twice, we don't have duck feed, we've never had duck feed and we never will have duck feed. If you ask me again, I'll nail your feet to the floor.''
The duck leaves.
The next day, the duck walks in and asks, ''Got any nails?''
''No,'' comes the reply.
''Got any duck feed?''
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes
to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you
think I could stay the night?"
The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As
the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he
asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're
not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.
Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears
the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a
monk." The man says, "all right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do more...
Zikes! What a year! Joseph forgot to make reservations at the Bethlehem Inn (his carpentry projects aren't the only thing made out of wood!). So they stick us in this stable full of stale hay and stinking animals and guess what???
I go right into labor. My OB doc said: "Make the trip."
Anyway, we have a new baby boy that we think is truly special. But it's been a madhouse ever since!
First, we couldn't agree on a name. Joe likes Emmanuel - I'm holding out for Jesus. In the middle of the argument all the animals in the stable start talking and taking sides!
Next, all these shepherds stopped by to gawk (as if the smell wasn't bad enough). And, since this is Joseph's hometown, the whole mishpuka seemed to drop in.
You wouldn't believe his weird "cousin" John! All the time he babbles about 'logos' and 'kerygma' and a whole bunch of stuff that's just plain Greek to me.
Then there's a Stella, (or is it Quelle?) who keeps asking me to write down more...
A cowboy entered a church one Sunday morning and noticed that he and the preacher were the only ones present.
The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead with his sermon. The cowboy said, "I may not be too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So, the preacher began his sermon. One hour passed, then two hours, then three. Finally, the preacher finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he enjoyed the sermon.
The cowboy answered slowly, "Well, I may not be too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn't feed him all the hay!"
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!