Q: What kind of cereal does Mike Tyson eat?
Who eats cereal and plays golf?
Tony the Tiger Woods.
by Robert Chen
You should not attempt any these things. The following is meant for entertainment purposes only.
31. Switch the label on skim milk with the one on whole milk.
32. Yell to someone walking by, "I'll take two hot dogs, and my son will have some peanuts."
33. After getting all your food, sit down. Start arranging your food alphabetically, from left to right. Ask the person next to you whether you should put orange juice under "o" or "j."
34. Bring in a television and VCR. Set it up to play "Faces of Death." Eat avidly as you describe each screen to everyone. Embellish. Don't be afraid to speak while your mouth is full.
35. Get a large container and fill it with milk. Pour its contents into the cereal dispenser. Dispense cereal. Complain about how you always get too much milk.
36. Go up to someone you don't know and say, "Can I toast your buns?"
37. Talk to your food. Tell it to quit more...
Bush Seeks Ban on Cartoon, Cereal, Vitamins
The ongoing campaign against alleged gay icons in animated cartoons continued today as president Bush demanded that television stations stop broadcasting "The Flintstones" at once.
Harland Devane, presidents Bush’s leader of the group Focus on the Flintstones, said at a press conference in Washington, D.C. today that his organization was issuing the demand because, "Quite simply, everything about' The Flintstones' is way too gay."
The conservative activist distributed a memo itemizing over fifty ways in which the self-styled "modern Stone Age family" series promotes homosexuality, but left little doubt that most of his concerns centered on the relationship between the two main characters, Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble.
"Their relationship is more flagrantly homosexual than anything in Oliver Stone's' Alexander,'" Mr. Devane said.
He pointed more...
Knock Knock Who's there! Cereal! Cereal who? Cereal pleasure to meet you!