Factory Jokes / Recent Jokes

As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors.

On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor. His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends.

The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive. Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg and fracturing his skull. He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence.

But the company would have none of it and told him there was no liability and he could get lost!

You can imagine he was rather p****d off with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever. more...

A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a restaurant.
The American feel really proud to be an American, so he starts a conversation.
He asks the Frenchman, "When you eat bread, do you eat all of it?"
"Mais oui!, of course!" responds the Frenchman.
"Well," says the American, "we only eat the soft part of it. The rest we collect in containers, take to a factory and put through a mill.
What comes out are little breads that we sell in France.
"And what about steaks?" he continues. "Do you eat all parts of them?"
"Bien sur! We do," replies the Frenchman.
"You don't say!" says the America, grinning. "We don't! We only eat the meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in containers, take to a factory, put through a mill, and what comes out are little steaks that we sell in France."
Now the Frenchman is really riled. So he asks, "And more...

A gum-chewing American and a Frenchman are sitting together in a
> restaurant.
>
> The American feel really proud to be an American, so he starts a
> conversation. He asks the Frenchman, "When you eat bread, do you eat
all
> of
> it?" "Mais oui!,
> of course!" responds the Frenchman.
> "Well," says the American, "we only eat the soft part of it. The rest
we
> collect in containers, take to a factory and put through a mill. What
> comes out are little breads that we sell in France.
>
> "And what about steaks?" he continues. "Do you eat all parts of them?"
> "Bien sur! We do," replies the Frenchman.
> "You don`t say!" says the America, grinning. "We don`t! We only eat
the
> meaty part of the steak. The greasy part we collect in containers,
take
> to a factory, put through a mill, and what comes out are little more...

There is a factory in America which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm. A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00am.

The next day at 8:45am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The foreman from the assembly line throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The personnel manager decides he should see this for himself so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there, the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands the new employee surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement more...

How did the blonde try to kill the bird... she threw it off of a cliff. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves... she fell out of the tree. How did the blonde die, drinking milk... the cow stepped on her. How did the blonde burn her nose... bobbing for french fries. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month... the instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds". Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops... so they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus. Why do men like blonde jokes... it is one thing they can understand. Why do blondes like lightning... they think someone is taking their picture. Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces... from eating with forks. Why do blondes have more fun... they are easier to keep amused. What do you call a brunette with a blonde on both sides... an interpreter. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer... frosted flakes. What do you call a fly buzzing inside a more...

tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...tick...

"Hello, I'm Mike Walrus, and this is 60 Seconds"

"We're here in Hong Kong to bring you a story that may shock and horrify some viewers. This city is a beehive of industry and activity, a monument to free enterprise and commerce, but behind these shops and warehouses, hidden from public view, is the sordid story of a condiment gone terribly wrong.

"I'm talking about duck sauce. You've probably seen or tried it before, those little orange packets tossed in with your Chinese take-out meals. But look closely at them...those little floating bits aren't apricot...they're real duck.

"Yes, it's a tragic tale of waterfowl laid waste, an underground industry that reaps millions of export dollars and is depleting the duck population all around the South China Sea.

"We tracked several shipments of duck sauce to a clandestine factory here, operating under the name more...

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8: 00 AM.
The next day at 8: 45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, more...