Desert Jokes / Recent Jokes

>An Arab has spent many days crossing the desert without finding a source
> of water. It gets so bad that his camel dies of thirst. He's crawling
> through the sands, certain that he has breathed his last, when all of a
> sudden he sees a shiny object sticking out of the sand several yards
> ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and
> discovers that he has a Manischevitz wine bottle. It appears that there
> may be a drop or two left in the bottle, so he unscrews the top and out
> pops
> a genie. But
> this is no ordinary genie. This genie appears to be a Hassidic rabbi,
> complete with black alpaca coat, black hat, side curls, etc.
> "Well, kid," says the genie. "You know how it works. You have three
> wishes."
> "I'm not going to trust you," says the Arab. "I'm not going to trust a
> Jewish genie!"
> "What do you have to lose? It looks more...

Q: What do you call a penguin in the desert? A: Lost.

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind more...

A camel decided to educate his son who she suspected was getting a little inquisitive.
`Mum, why do we have two humps?` asked the son.
`That is so that we can go for days and weeks without water. We can store it in the humps.`
` Then why do we have very long eye lashes mum?`
`That,` he was told, `is to protect the eyes from the sand in a sand storm.`
`And why do we have bulbous looking feet?`
`That is so that we can travel twice as fast through the desert.`
`Mum,` wispered the young camel, "Now I can understand, humps to store water, long eye lashes to protect eyes from sand storm and bulbous looking feet to travell fast in the desert, then what the hell are we doing in this zoo?`

Why did the blonde bring sandpaper to the desert?
She needed a map.
Why did the blonde bring a car door to the desert?
If it got hot she could roll the window down.
How did the blonde explain her helicopter crash?
It was getting hot so I turned the ceiling fan off.
What is the latest health epidemic among blondes?
MAIDS. If they don't get one they die.
Why did the blonde wear a condom on each ear?
She didn't want to get hearing AIDS.
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell; She's got a grenade in her mouth.
Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in 6 months?
Because on the box it said from two to four years.
How do you know if a blonde e-mails you?
There's a computer in the mailbox.
How do you know if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's whiteout on the screen.
How more...

Once An American, A Chinese And Santa Were Passing Through The Thar Desert In A Same Car. But In The Middle Of The Desert, Their Car Breaks Down. They Think Of Walking Through The Desert And Leave The Car Behind. American: I Will Take The Water Bottle. When I Get Thirsty, I Will Drink Water. Chinese: I Will Take The Seat. When I Get Tired, I Will Sit On It. Santa: I Will Take The Door Of The Car. When It Is Too Hot I Will Open The Window!!!

Two yankees are driving across the Texas desert, it's flat and you can see forever, they approach a stop sign and since the driver can see for miles in all directions and it's all clear he slows a bit then drives right on through.
Soon he see's the flashing lights in his rearview and pulls over, the cop ask's for license and registration, the driver asks why he was stopped and the cop tells him " You ran a stop sign".
The driver says "but I could see for miles, it was all clear so I just slowed down, whats the difference between stopping and slowing down?
The cop says "I'll let you answer that and proceeds to pull the driver out and beat him rapidly in the head with his night stick , then he ask's "now , do you want me to slow down? or stop?"