Dark Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll with their dogs. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua.
As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend,
"Let's go over to that bar for a drink." The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Guide dog - I'm blind."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman?" The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought more...
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty. A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect
salute, and snapped out, "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening soldier, nice night, isn't it?"Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied, "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"The Private didn't agree, but then the private was just a private, and responded, "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again, and said, "Sir, Yes Sir!"The General more...
One day a blonde went to a bar. She saw three guys she would possibly be interested in. The first one was tall, dark, and handsome-every girls dream guy. The blonde went up to him, cleavage and thong showing. She seemed so confident that the guy imediately asked her if she would like a drink. She just asked for a beer. Before she knew it she was having sex in the bathroom. She was apparently not satisfied at his performance. The next guy was short, kind of pale with dark hair. Again, the guy bought her a beer. Next thing she knew she was giving the guy a blow job in the back seat of his car. Again, not happy, she went for the next guy, medium height with black hair with blonde highlights, he was not tall, but not short, he looked average. This time she ordered another beer. She ended up at his house in the bed. Before anything happened this time, she said that she had had sex in the bathroom in the bar, gave a guy a blow job in the backseat of his car, and was about to suck his dick. more...
Little Johnny asked his father, "Dad, can you write in the dark?"His father said, "I think so. What do you want me to write?"Little Johnny replied, "Oh, just sign this report card for me..."
Unusual Case by William A. Morton, Jr, MDFrom "Medical Aspects Of Human Sexuality" July, 1991 p. 15Scrotum Self-RepairOne morning, I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he "needed a doctor who took care of men's troubles." The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red skin and black-and-blue scrotal skin. After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum. Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some half-buried dark linear objects and asked the more...