Connor Jokes / Recent Jokes

Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"... "What have you done Tommy O'Connor" said the Priest. "I had sex with a girl""Who was it Tommy?" "I cannot tell you Father, please forgive me for my sin.""Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" "No Father, please forgive me for my sin.""Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No Father, I cannot tell you, please forgive me.""Well then, was it Sarah Martha O'Keefe?" "No Father, I cannot tell you who it was." "Okay Tommy, go say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and you will be forgiven."So Tommy walked out to the pew where his friend Joseph was waiting... "What did you get?" asked Joseph. "Well, I got 5 Hail Marys, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads!"

Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
"What have you done Tommy O'Connor?"
"I had sex with a girl."
"Who was it, Tommy?"
"I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin."
"Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?"
"No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was."
"Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?"
"No father, please forgive me for my sin."
"Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O'Keefe."
"No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was."
"Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary's and 4 Our Fathers and you will be abolished of your sin."
So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. "What did ya get?" asked Joseph.
"Well I got 5 hail Mary's, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads."

THE ADVENTURE BEGINS:
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head
to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner
comes over and asks if he can help them.
Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat
cage up dere,"says Gerry.
The owner puts the budgies in a paper bag. Paddy and
Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to
drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000' foot
drop and says "Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out
of the bag, puts them on his shoulders and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as Gerry falls all the way to the bottom,
killing himself stone dead.
Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy
shakes his head and says "Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n
dangerous for me!"
THERE'S MORE
Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at more...

Should children witness childbirth?
Due to a power-outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call.The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, a 3-year old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he
helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his
little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again."

The Cork born Father O'Connor's reputation for castigating the Brits from
the pulpit was legendary. However, the congregation in his new parish of
Boston, Mass., tired of him lambasting the Brits for the horrors they
inflicted upon the Irish for generations. Ultimately, the Archbishop opted
to send the good father to a small hamlet in the far reaches of Tennessee
where, His Grace said, "The folks know nothing of England and care less. So
Knock off the Brit bashing and you'll better serve Holy Mother Church."Several weeks later, when Father O'Connor stood into the pulpit to deliver
his first sermon to his new congregation, the local Bishop, who knew of
O'Connor's reputation, was in attendance to check up-on him."My dear brethren," Father O'Connor began, "this morning I'd like to talk
about The Last Supper."Not bad, though the Bishop. Safe enough ground."Now, the lesson to be learned from The Last Supper, more...