Connor Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    "Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce?" the solicitor questioned his
    client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?"
    "Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport."
    The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?"
    "No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "Oi'm always first out of bed."
    Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "Well, does he go in for
    unnatural connubial practices?"
    "Shure now, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about the
    connubial."
    Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on. "What I'm trying to find out are what
    grounds you have."
    "Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat-not even a window box, let alone
    grounds."
    "Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a
    reason that the court can more...

    Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"...
    "What have you done Tommy O'Connor" said the Priest. "I had sex with a girl"
    "Who was it Tommy?" "I cannot tell you Father, please forgive me for my sin."
    "Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" "No Father, please forgive me for my sin."
    "Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No Father, I cannot tell you, please forgive me."
    "Well then, was it Sarah Martha O'Keefe?" "No Father, I cannot tell you who it was." "Okay Tommy, go say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and you will be forgiven."
    So Tommy walked out to the pew where his friend Joseph was waiting... "What did you get?" asked Joseph. "Well, I got 5 Hail Marys, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads!"

    Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned"... "What have you done Tommy O'Connor" said the Priest. "I had sex with a girl""Who was it Tommy?" "I cannot tell you Father, please forgive me for my sin.""Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?" "No Father, please forgive me for my sin.""Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?" "No Father, I cannot tell you, please forgive me.""Well then, was it Sarah Martha O'Keefe?" "No Father, I cannot tell you who it was." "Okay Tommy, go say 5 Hail Marys and 4 Our Fathers and you will be forgiven."So Tommy walked out to the pew where his friend Joseph was waiting... "What did you get?" asked Joseph. "Well, I got 5 Hail Marys, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads!"

    Tommy O'Connor went to confession and said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
    "What have you done Tommy O'Connor?"
    "I had sex with a girl."
    "Who was it, Tommy?"
    "I cannot tell you father, please forgive me for my sin."
    "Was it Mary Margaret Sullivan?"
    "No father, please forgive me for my sin but I cannot tell you who it was."
    "Was it Catherine Mary McKenzie?"
    "No father, please forgive me for my sin."
    "Well then it has to be, Sarah Martha O'Keefe."
    "No father, please forgive me, I cannot tell you who it was."
    "Okay, Tommy go say 5 Hail Mary's and 4 Our Fathers and you will be abolished of your sin."
    So Tommy walked out to the pews where his friend Joseph was waiting. "What did ya get?" asked Joseph.
    "Well I got 5 hail Mary's, 4 Our Fathers, and 3 good leads."

    Well, Mrs. O'Connor, so you want a divorce? the solicitor questioned his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?" "Oh, no," replied Mrs. O'Connor. "Shure now, we have a carport." The solicitor tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?" "No, no," said Mrs. O'Connor, looking puzzled. "Oi'm always first out of bed." Still hopeful, the solicitor tried once again. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have." "Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat - not even a window box, let alone grounds." "Mrs. O'Connor," the solicitor said in considerable exasperation, "you need a reason that the court can consider. "What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?" "Ah, well now," said the lady, "Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."

  • Recent Activity