Colorado Jokes / Recent Jokes
A jury found former Northern Colorado backup punter guilty of second-degree assault in a stabbing attack on the starter in a desperate bid to get the starting job. Punters fighting is like two Waffle House waitresses arguing over who is the prettiest.
A Colorado Springs, Colo., school district says it did the right thing when it suspended 6-year-old Seamus Morris under the school's zero-tolerance drug policy. The drug? Lemon drops. Taylor Elementary School administrators called an ambulance after a teacher saw the boy give another student some candy, which was a brand teachers didn't recognize.' It was not something you would purchase in a grocery store,' a district spokesman said.' It was from a health-food store.' A spokesman for St. Claire's Lemon Tarts, however, noted that the candy is indeed sold in Colorado's largest grocery store chain. School officials were not impressed, and not only upheld the half-day suspension, but told the boy's mother that a child who brings candy to school is comparable to a teen who takes a gun to school. (UPI)
Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall... "Hi there, how is it going?" Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn't know what to say so finally I say: "Not bad..." Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?" I am starting to find that a bit weird, but I say: "Well, I'm going back to Colorado..." Then I hear the person say all flustered: "Look I'll call you back, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: New York One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Chicago One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California With gun in lap: L. A. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male One hand more...
Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday. It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3. 2% alcohol. No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed) It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence. Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses. Colorado Springs It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays. Crippe Creek It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building. Denver The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado. You may not drive a black car on Sundays. Durango It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on more...
A Colorado couple are offering snow on eBay. The top bid so far is from screenname IronMike66.
A British girl recently moved to the United States and their home was near the Colorado River in Texas.
The English teacher asked the kids to write about their home and neighborhood. The British girl wrote "My home is near the Colourado River." as part of her work.