Bunk Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day two kids parents decided that they wanted to go on a vacation, so the youngest brother was forced to live with his older brother at college.
When the little bro showed up, the oldest brother said that it was reallly cool that he is staying here, and said that there is only one rule.
IF I COME HOME WITH A GIRL, I GET THE TOP BUNK, AND YOU HAVE TO GO STRAIGHT TO BED, AND GO TO SLEEP!
"Okay,"
"Okay,"
Later that night, the little brother, watching TV, heard his brother coming down the hall, but he heard a girls voice with him, so he did what he was told and went straight to bed.
Faking sleep, he watched the older brother and his new love Tina, go up to the top bunk.
"Tina, anytime you want me to go harder, say lettuce, and anytime you want me to change positions, say tomato."
"Haha, okay" replied Tina.
So, in the middle of the night, the little brother is awakened by loud screams of the words lettuce and more...

There's a guy and a girl and they want to have sex. So, they go to the girl's house and before entering her room, the girl stops and says, "My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing. So when I say,' Baloney,' it means push harder, and when I say,' Pastrami,' it means push softer."
With this, the two get onto the top bunk and start having sex. First, the girl moans, "Baloney! Baloney! Baloney!" Then, she shouts, "Pastrami! Pastrami! Pastrami!" Then, she changes back to, "Baloney! Baloney! Baloney!"
Finally, the girl's sister yells, "Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there? You're getting mayonnaise all over me!"

A guy's going on a business trip and he has to take his secretary with him, and she's really crazy about him. The first night on the Amtrak, she's in the top bunk and he's in the bottom bunk. She says, "Mr. Forsythe! Mr. Forsythe! I'm chilly! I think I need a blanket!" He says, "Miss Schmitt, how'd you like to pretend you're *Mrs.* Forsythe for a little while? She says, "Oh, I'd like that." He says, "Then get you own damn blanket."

There is this guy and this girl and they want to have sex. So they go to the girls house and before entering the girl stops the guy and says.
"My little sister sleeps on the bottom bunk of our bunk bed and I do not want her to know what we are doing, so when I say 'baloney' it means push harder, and when I say 'pastrami' it means push slower."
With this the two get onto the top bunk and have sex. First, the girl moans, "baloney, baloney, baloney" then shouts "pastrami, pastrami, pastrami" and then back to "baloney, baloney, baloney"
Finally, the girls sister says "Will you guys quit making sandwiches up there, you're getting mayonaise all over me!"

Little Michael was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for awhile when he came into the house and asked her "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth.

"It's called sexual intercourse", she replied.

Little Michael just said, "Oh, okay" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,"Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds! and Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!

There was an older brother and a younger brother sleeping in the same room. The older brother was on the top bunk and the younger brother was on the bottom bunk.
so one night the older brother brings his girl-friend over and they start doin it. So the guy says "Every time you want me to go harder yell lettuce and tomato" so all night she was saying lettuce and tomato lettuce and tomato. finally the younger brother wakes up and says "Quit makin sandwiches up there your getting mayonaise all over my face"!

One day two teenagers decided to have sex. So they went to the guys house. He shared a bunk bed with his brother -- being the older, he slept on the top bunk.

The guy said, "If you want it harder say lettuce, if you want a knew position say tomatoes." So they went on with lettuce, tomatoes, lettuce, tomatoes.

The little brother woke up and said, "Would you guys stop making sandwiches? You're dripping mayonnaise on me!"

BONUS DIRTY JOKE:
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: Burger King Forgot to wrap his Whopper.