Snake Jokes

A Dravidian man falls asleep in a coconut grove. After a while a gigantic Kerala King Cobra slowly crawls along his legs & into his lungi (loin-cloth). Putting its head through an opening in front, the black serpent rises & spreads its fangs. Just as it is about to strike him in the face, the sleeping Dravidian man wakes up. Puzzled, he exclaims, "My horny South Indian King Cobra, I knew you were Big, Black & Dravidian! But from where did you get those bright green eyes ?"

Musician Jokes - In Score Order
How do you get two piccolos to play in perfect unison?
Shoot one.
What's the definition of a minor second?
Two flutists playing in unison.
What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop up an oboe.
What's the difference between playing an English horn solo and wetting your pants?
Nothing. Both give you a warm feeling but no one else cares.
What's the difference between a bassoon and a trampoline?
You take off your shoes when you jump on the trampoline.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from the bassoon recital.
Why do clarinetists leave their cases on their dashboards?
So they can park in handicapped zones.
What's the definition of a nerd?
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain?
Gifted.
What's the difference between a lawn mower and a soprano sax?
You can tune a lawn mower, more...

one day this little boy has a shower with his mum and he says wat are they she says there head lights then he goes wat are they she says thats my bush then the next day he has a shower with his dad and he asks wat is that he says my snake then one night he got scared so he went into his mum and dads room and sees them having sex then he says mum mum put you head light on there a snake in the bush.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a snake?
When you run over a snake, you don't back up to make sure it's dead.

"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see you there."
"That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "It was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?"
"Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "Since I'm blind, I've never seen myself. Perhaps you could examine me and then we'll both know?"So the snake felt the bunny all over and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly; you have long silky ears, a fluffy little tail and a twitchy little nose... you must be a BUNNY RABBIT!" [The little blind bunny was so pleased at this that he danced with joy.] The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. What kind of animal are you, sir?"
The snake said he didn't know, for the same reason. The bunny agreed to examine him, and when he finished the snake asked, more...