Bra Jokes / Recent Jokes
A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra.
He entered a ladies shop, rather intimidated, but the salesgirls took charge to help him.
"What colour?" they asked. He settled for white.
"How much does it cost?" he asked.
"Twenty-four dollars."
"Expensive, but ok," he thought.
All that remained was the size, but he hadn't the faintest idea.
"Now sir, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts? Grape fruits? Oranges?"
"No," he said, "nothing like that."
"Come on, sir, think. There must be something your wife's bust resembles."
He thought long and hard and then looked up and said, "Have you ever seen a Spaniel's ears?"
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? A. When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner, and momma went dry. Up to the window I sprang like an elf, Tore back the shade while she played with herself. The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built, Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer. With a fat little driver, half out of the sled, A sock in his ear and a bra on his head. Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite, And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right. Woa Shithead, woa Asshole, woa Stupid, woa Putz, Either slow down this rig or I'll cut off your nuts. Look out for the lamp post, and don't hit the more...
The success of the "Wonder Bra" for under-endowed women, has encouraged the designers to come out with a bra forover-endowed women. It's called the "Sheep Dog Bra"... It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.
Twas the night before Christmas, and God was it neat,
The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook,
It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
Mama in her teddy, and I in the nude,
Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
That I lost my boner and poor Mama went dry.
Up to the window I sprang like an elf,
Tore back the shade while she played with herself.
The moon on the crest of the snowman we built,
Showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a rusty old sleigh and 8 mangy reindeer.
With a fat little driver half out of his sled,
A sock in his ear, and a bra on his head.
Sure as I'm speaking, he was as high as a kite,
And he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa more...
A recent study found that 35% of men have been injured while undoing a woman's bra.
That's correct. While unfastening a woman's stabilizing devise, men have received strained tendons, scratches, and other similar injuries.
Actually, I can vouch for that. I got injured today while trying to undo a woman's bra. When I undid the woman in front of me in the checkout line, she turned and hit me with a can of peas.