Hook Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Salesman sold fishing gear

    Hot 11 months ago

    A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there.
    The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?" "Yes, I was a salesman in the country" said the lad. The boss liked the look of him and said, "You can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you when we close up."
    The day was long and arduous for the young man, but finally 5 o'clock came.
    The boss duly appeared and asked, "How many sales did you make today?"
    "One", said the young salesman. "Only one!" blurted the boss. Most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
    "Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty-four dollars" said the young man. The boss was completely surprised. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabber-gasted boss.
    "Well", said the salesman, "this man came more...

    A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch.The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate."You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"

    Retired Pirate

    Hot 3 years ago

    After many years at sea a pirate decided it was time to retire. Since he had suffered injuries on the job he thought that he could also collect disability insurance. He had a wooden leg, a hook where his right hand should be and a patch over his right eye. The agency assured him that he would be compensated if the injuries were work related. "How did you get the wooden leg?" In a booming voice the pirate replied:
    "WELL MATEY, YOU SEE IT WAS LIKE THIS: ME AND ME MATES WERE ON THE HIGH SEAS WHEN THE BOOM SHE SWANG 'ROUND AND KNOCKED ME INTO THE SEA WHERE A SHARK BIT OFF ME LEG."
    "Well that is certainly work related. How did you lose your hand." In a booming voice the pirate replied:
    "WELL MATEY, YOU SEE IT WAS LIKE THIS: ME AND ME MATES WERE ON THE HIGH SEAS WHEN THE BOOM SHE SWANG 'ROUND AND KNOCKED ME INTO THE SEA WHERE A SHARK BIT OFF ME HAND."
    "Well that is certainly work related. How did you lose your eye." In a more...

    New Salesman

    Hot 2 years ago

    A young man from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

    The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota. "

    Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

    His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?"

    The kid says "One".

    The boss says "Just One? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

    The kid says "$101, 237.65".

    The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

    The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold hi m a medium more...

    Modem Addiction

    Hot 1 week ago

    "Did you know that last month's (expletive) phone bill is over $450?" my wife scolded me in her harshest, my-husband-the-child voice. "That's more than twice the monthly payment you make for that (expletive)computer!" she continued as she escalated to screaming.
    "I confess! I confess!" I sobbed. "I'm just an on-line junkie. I'm addicted to my modem! I guess I'll just have to join Modems Anonymous before I owe my soul to the phone company. "As a counselor for Modems Anonymous, I hear numerous variations of the preceding story every day. That insidious disease, modem fever, is exacting a tragically large toll from the cream of our society's computer users. Modem-mania is sweeping through the very foundations of our country and there seems to be no stopping it. This disease (yes, it is a social disease of almost epidemic proportions) is becoming a such calamity that soon there's even going to be a soap opera about on-line addiction named, more...

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