Borg Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    New assimilation software turned out to be vaporware; back to square one when the supplier's 1-800 number was disconnected.
    Assimilation of Locutus caused chaos as the Borg became caught up in a massive Sam Spade adventure game craze.
    If Earth were assimilated, the commute from Borg home planet would be a killer drive.
    Collective Borg decided a cube was to complicated a form - awaiting building of a new pyramid ship.
    Earth was too blue for their tastes; they were hoping for an emerald green planet, something in a teal, with tasteful lavender clouds.
    Bidding war for exclusive appearance in Coke or Pepsi commercials too agonizing a choice... returned home to rebuild decision circuits.
    Earth too close to the sun... would ruin their cultivated pallor.
    They heard that Worf bragged of personally kicking their butts if they showed their face in the sector again... began laughing for first time, haven't stopped yet.
    $29 navigation chip failed... they now have more...

    (Your jokes are too funny. You will be assimilated. Your piece de resistance is useless.)
    Two Borg walk into a bar. One Borg says to the other, "Did you hear about that city that was burned down in Argentina?"
    The other Borg replies, "Yeah, just goes to show you; Resistencia is fusil."
    A Borg was walking down a country road when he saw a donkey in a field nearby. Climbing over the fence, he pulled out his hand weapon, prayed loudly, and disintegrated the creature.
    The farmer who lived there ran out the door. "What in the world was that?"
    "Why," said the Borg, "What else? Ass immolation."
    Best Bumpersticker on Borg ship: "Blonde Borgs have the same fun."
    Happy Borg: &>
    Sad Borg: &

    (Your jokes are too funny. You will be assimilated. Your piece de resistance is useless.)
    Two Borg walk into a bar. One Borg says to the other, "Did you hear about that city that was burned down in Argentina?"
    The other Borg replies, "Yeah, just goes to show you; Resistencia is fusil."
    A Borg was walking down a country road when he saw a donkey in a field nearby. Climbing over the fence, he pulled out his hand weapon, prayed loudly, and disintegrated the creature.
    The farmer who lived there ran out the door. "What in the world was that?"
    "Why," said the Borg, "What else? Ass immolation."
    Best Bumpersticker on Borg ship: "Blonde Borgs have the same fun."
    Happy Borg: &>
    Sad Borg: &<
    Locutus: ;|
    Drunk or Stoned Borg: #)
    Borg on Acid: @)
    McBorg - Over Half a billion assimilated.
    Borger King - you will have it _our_ way. Special orders are irrevelant.
    FROM more...

    -==( Forwards beamed into deep space )==-
    "Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?"
    "Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology." (Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.)
    (Riker looks puzzled.) "What the hell is 'Microsoft'?"
    (Data turns to answer.) "Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called 'Windows', through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate."
    "But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?"
    "Yes, Captain. But when 'Windows' detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an more...

    ATTENTION ALL MICROSOFT HATERS - I have sorted through my tagline manager and have found all of theMicrosoft bashing taglines I can possibly find. Please have yourself a laugh at Bill Gates expense:
    I don't hate Windows - it runs great under OS/2!
    "Chicago, Windows 4.0, Windows 95"?!?!?!?
    "Mr. Worf, blow the Windows-powered Borg ship out of this Universe!"
    #1 OS/2 tip: Drag the Windows folder to the shreader!!!
    - Opens new Gates not seen through Windows!
    .. Bugs come in through open Windows.
    ..Windows NT Performance", on the next "In Search Of"
    After seeing Windows I realized Bill Gates is an idiot.
    Air conditioned environment - Do not open Windows.
    Best way to dispose of the Borg: Give them Windows 3.1.
    Bugs come in through Open Windows
    Chernobyl used Windows
    Downgrade your system for only 89 dollars! Install Windows!
    Error 15 - Unable to exit Windows. Try the door.
    Windows Error #F99 - CPU more...

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