April Jokes / Recent Jokes

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994 Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6 Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5 Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20 Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2 Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16 How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5 Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, New York, Democrat + Chronicle, January 29

Three men were engineers checking a bridge when out of nowhere this masked man pointed a gun at them and said, "If you want to live, you'll jump off the bridge and you'll survive."Well, the gunman turned around to take his mask off and when he turned around the engineers saw it was a construction worker."April Fools!"he yelled out as water shot out from the"gun".The first engineer looked at him and said,"Tell that to the man who jumped when you had turned around."

What movie is really the sequel to April Fools?
The May-Tricks

Why were the Scouts so tired on April 1?
Because they had just finished a 31 day March!

Why were the Scouts so tired on April 1? Because they had just finished a 31 day March!

April 2 - April 8

"Screech never had a problem with it".

- Serial stalker Emily Diane Leatherman, arrested after showing up at Tom Cruise's house uninvited.

April 16 - April 22

- "Enough beating around the bush. How many buckets of KFC is it gonna take to get you off my back?"

- Radio personality Don Imus, trying to strike a deal with Al Sharpton.