Gazette Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Firm Grasp of the Obvious Department
    From the Notebook pages of The New Republic 1995
    Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
    - Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995
    Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us
    - Holland Sentinal, date unknown.
    Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
    - The New York Times, November 22
    Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
    - The Los Angeles Times, November 2
    'Light' meals are lower in fat, calories
    - Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30
    Alcohol ads promote drinking
    - The Hartford Courant, November 18
    Malls try to attract shoppers
    - The Baltimore Sun, October 22
    Official: Only rain will cure drought
    - The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
    Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men
    - The Sunday Oregonian, September 24
    Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
    - Newsday, July 11
    Man shoots neighbor with machete
    - The Miami Herald, July more...

    Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995

    Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown.

    Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22

    Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2

    "Light" meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30

    Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18

    Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22

    Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts

    Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24

    Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11

    Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3

    Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily more...

    Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link -Cornell Daily Sun, December 7, 1995Whatever Their motives, Moms Who Kill Kids still Shock Us -Holland Sentinal, date unknown. Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut -The New York Times, November 22Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find -The Los Angeles Times, November 2"Light" meals are lower in fat, calories -Huntington Herald-Dispatch, November 30Alcohol ads promote drinking -The Hartford Courant, November 18Malls try to attract shoppers -The Baltimore Sun, October 22Official: Only rain will cure drought -The Herald-News, Westpost, MassachusettsTeen-age girls often have babies fathered by men -The Sunday Oregonian, September 24Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -Newsday, July 11Man shoots neighbor with machete -The Miami Herald, July 3Tomatoes come in big, little, medium sizes -The Daily Progress, Charlottesville, Virginia, March 30Dirty-Air Cities Far Deadlier Than Clean Ones, Study Shows -The New York Times, March more...

    These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country.
    Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994
    Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6
    Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5
    Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20
    Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2
    Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16
    How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5
    Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, New York, Democrat & Chronicle, January 29

    Prosecution paints O.J. as a wife-killer: Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel, January 25Economist uses theory to explain economy: Collinsville Herald-Journal, February 8Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16

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