Cancer Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

    After I'm Gone

    Hot 4 years ago

    Fred had not been feeling well, so he went to his long time doctor.
    The doctor did some tests and walked back into the room.
    "Fred, I have some bad news for you, and I really don't know how to tell you. I've rerun all the tests and double checked the results. You are going to die of cancer. There is no cure for what you have. You have about 6 to 8 weeks to live."
    "Well Doc, I am glad you told me straight out though. Now I can get all my personal affairs in order."
    The doctor felt badly about Fred and the next day was at the gym when he heard two guys talking. "Did you hear about Fred?" "Yeah, I heard that he is dying of AIDS!"
    This really upset the doctor and he rushed over to a telephone to call Fred.
    "Hello Fred? Did you understand what I told you yesterday?"
    "Of course Doc. I am dying of cancer and have 6 to 8 weeks to live."
    "But I just heard two of your friends say you were dying of more...

    People who start using tanning beds before age 30 are 75 percent more likely to get cancer. They are also 40 percent more likely to be stopped by the police.

    bad News

    Hot 2 years ago

    A guy gos to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor says,"Well sir, I have bad news and I have worse news. The guy says "well gimme the worst news first." The doc says well sir you have Cancer.The guy says "thats terrible news, but whats the bad news?" The doc says well sir you also have Alzheimers disease. And the guy says well, at least I dont have Cancer.

    The Fart Zodiac

    Hot 11 months ago

    Aries

    The Ram. Their farts are "Built Ram Tough". They may feel like Curly-Qs coming out of their asses because their farts mimic the curves of a ram's horns. They, the farts, sometimes like to butt heads with other farts. Since people born under the sign of Aries show strong leadership and like to get things started, they are always the first ones to fart while around other people. Their farts tend to be loud since they are energetic. Do you like to hear robust farts? Too shy to be the first one to fart? Get with an Aries.

    Taurus

    The Bull. Their farts can be very stubborn, and once released, they can stink up a space with power for very long periods of time-longer than average. Their farts just don't want to go away. Their farts can even be kinda sharp and hurt their *******s when they come out, because they are big and mimic the sharp horns of the bull. Since Taurus people love sensual pleasures, they must take care not to over-indulge and more...

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