Annual Jokes / Recent Jokes
An 80-year old man was having his annual check-up and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. "I've never been better!" he boasted. "I've got an eighteen year old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. He never missed a season. But one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun." The doctor continued, "So he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! He raised up his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. And do you know what happened?" the doctor queried. Dumbfounded, the old man replied, "No." The doctor continued, "The bear dropped dead in front of him!" "That's impossible!" exclaimed the old man. "Someone else must have shot that more...
Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?" George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get upin the middle of the night, poof!... the light goes on and I go to thebathroom and then poof! the light goes off!""Wow," commented Dr. Smith,' That's incredible!"A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call youbecause I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! The light goes off?" Thelma replied, "Oh God! He's peeing in the fridge again!"
An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've never been better!" he replies. "I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant and having my child! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun.
"So he's in the woods and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him! He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle. The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in his its chest."
"That's impossible! Someone else must have shot that bear," the man said.
"Exactly," replies the Doc.
Seventy year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God?"George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get upin the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on and I go to thebathroom and then poof! the light goes off!""Wow," commented Dr. Smith, 'That's incredible!"A little later in the day Dr. Smith called George's wife. "Thelma," he said, "George is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call youbecause I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! The light goes on in the bathroom and then poof! The light goes off?"Thelma replied, "Oh God! He's peeing in the fridge again!"
Seems this elderly couple went to the clinic and asked to be tested for HIV. When the counselor asked why they felt that they should be tested at their age, the old man said, "Well, we heard on TV that people should be tested after annual sex!"
Bristol Palin, the 18 year old daughter of Sarah Palin, visited the Today Show this morning with her baby son Tripp and her father Todd to promote the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy.
Apparently Sarah Palin wanted to be there but she was off promoting the Eighth Annual National Day to Prevent Incompetence.
An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.
After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me? The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old fart!" she more...