Affair Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a
    pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
    together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the
    woman to the lover, "into the Closet!" and she pushed him in the closet,
    stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search
    of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.
    "Who are you?" he asked him.
    "I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.
    "What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
    "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man
    replied
    "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
    The man looked down at himself and said, "Those little bastards... "

    Phone Misunderstanding

    Hot 7 years ago

    I highly doubt this is true, but it's a funny read. This is apparently a true story which occurred very recently in the Telecom Call Centre in Lower Hutt.

    The Operator received a call from a somewhat irate and very worried Pacific Islander who it seems needed some urgent marriage guidance. The call went like this:

    Telecom: How may we help you?

    Customer: I haff a big problem with my phone bill. My wife, she think I haffing an affair!

    Telecom: Okay Sir, and how can we help you with this?

    Customer: My bill haff all these calls to Salulah and my wife think I haffing an affair with this woman, but I never heard of her before. I need to trace these calls please.

    Telecom: Sir, I'm sorry but the bill won't actually tell you the name of the person you're calling, just their number.

    Customer: This one does.

    Telecom: What phone do you have, Sir?

    Customer: A mobile. I tell you more...

    Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband, John, was Work jokes. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend, Ralph, and she heard her husband's car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph: "Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump outthe window my husband is home early!" Ralph looked out thewindow and said: "I can't jump out the window! It's raininglike hell out there!" Mary cried: "If my husband catches usin here, he will kill both of us!" So the boyfriend grabbedhis clothes and jumped out the window! When he landed outsidehe found himself in the middle of a marathon race... so hestarted running along side the others -- only he was still inthe nude, carrying his clothes on his arm. One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?" Ralph answered, while gasping for air: "Oh yes, It feels sofree having the air blow over your skin while you are running." The other runner then asked the nude man: "Do you more...

    Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to "push the button" in case of nuclear attack?
    Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant?
    Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office?
    Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife's half sister?
    Which president called his mistress "Pookie"?
    Which president married a woman who hadn't yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an "adulterer" during his re-election campaign?
    Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor's wife while he was engaged to someone else?
    Which president had a torrid affair with the first lady's personal secretary?
    Which president had sex with a young woman in a White House coat closet - at one point, while a secret service agent more...

    A - Bill Clinton
    B - Warren G. Harding
    C - Andrew Jackson
    D - Thomas Jefferson
    E - Lyndon B. Johnson
    F - John F. Kennedy
    G - Franklin D. Roosevelt
    H - George Washington
    1. Which president smoked marijuana with a nude playgirl while he joked about being too wasted to "push the button" in case of nuclear attack?
    2. Which president allegedly had affairs with both a winner AND a finalist in the Miss America pageant?
    3. Which president had sex with one of his secretaries stretched out atop a desk in the oval office?
    4. Which president allegedly had an affair (as well as children) with a slave who was his wife's half sister?
    5. Which president called his mistress "Pookie"?
    6. Which president married a woman who hadn't yet divorced her first husband, and was branded an "adulterer" during his re-election campaign?
    7. Which future president wrote love letters to his neighbor's wife while he was engaged to more...

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